28 April. 2021
Okay, so as you may have gathered, I’m on a bit of a health kick, or more to the point, I’m trying to kick the rubbish I eat. It’s been a bit of an eye opener as it’s helping me to discover more things about myself. I have realised that yes, as I thought, I do have an addictive personality, and yes I like things to be a certain way, whether it’s the things I do or the things I eat and drink, but I have learned that this time it’s definitely a habit more than an addiction.
Yesterday I had to take child number 3 to the orthodontist and after we popped into Costa. You’ll all be pleased to know that I walked past all the gorgeous looking cakes and muffins, and just ordered a tea. That’s right, I didn’t even give in to a hot chocolate! (I have a soft spot for hot chocolate, especially with marshmallows). I went so far as to buy Barn a hot chocolate and I didn’t even try it! This proves that there is something different in my mind this time, while I know I do eat out of boredom sometimes or as something to do, I’m not physically uncomfortable in giving these things up like I was when I was trying to stop drinking wine. I know that I couldn’t have walked into somewhere that sold wine and been comfortable back then, but now I can avoid the sugary stuff and it didn’t make me grumpy.
Admittedly, I find the evenings a little more difficult. I think that’s just because I rely on cans of Diet Coke in the evening as a replacement for wine. It’s a habit I need to break and so I’m trying to push through, and actually it isn’t too bad. It would be easier to grab a can from the fridge, but I’m proud of myself for not doing it.
So that’s five days so far, no coke, no chocolate, no cakes or sweets. The best thing is, I’m actually feeling better for it!
I hope you’re all okay?
27 April. 2021
So as a little update for you, it has been three whole days since I decided to try to give up my other habits, and in those three days, I have not had one single sip of coke, I haven’t nibbled any dark chocolate and I haven’t dunked any biscuits. I have instead been snacking on grapes and sipping mint tea.I’m not going to lie and say I’ve found it incredibly easy and in fact I have had a couple of grumpy moments. While they remind me of my early sobriety days, they aren’t anywhere near as hard as those days were. In fact, they serve to remind me how far I’ve come. I’m pretty proud of myself because I know that my addictive nature enables me to cling on to things and I do find change hard. On the positive side, living without these little treats is making me feel quite strong. It’s funny how such a small thing can be so empowering! My only complaint is that I’m not skinny yet. Maybe it’ll take a few more days...? I hope you’re all okay?
23 April. 2021