My Not So Secret Diary


Perceptions, Claire Hatwell on the beach in Cornwall, Hatwell writer and author, sober blogger, My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not So Secret Guide to Recovery, sober author and blogger
I struggle with TV from time to time. I think my life is so full already that I don’t have the time or mental capacity for too much drama. I tend to prefer a bit of fantasy and escape from the real world; oh how I miss Game of Thrones! There’s the odd ‘normal’ thing I enjoy too, often a good hospital drama, but I’ll be honest, more and more it seems that TV programmes carry a message rather than just being there for entertainment. I’ve lost track of the amount of shows that have used an alcoholic parent as the reason behind every one of the main characters mistakes or poor choices and I’m a bit over it to be honest. While in no way am I suggesting it’s something you’d hope for, I don’t think we can condemn people as bad parents because they have an alcohol dependency. My kids have always been the centre of my world, and to suggest I was a bad parent due to my drinking really upsets me, because it’s not true. I am not and was never a bad person, just one who drank too much. Now, yes, I am a better version of myself, but I was never ‘bad’ and in my mind, these shows just reinforce all the worries ‘normal’ mums and dads like me feel about getting help. We don’t want to admit we’re struggling, so we keep the act up until one day when we can’t anymore. The other thing is the way recovery is often portrayed on TV as a few rough days and then back to normal. When my recovery didn’t look like that, I felt like I was doing something wrong. We shouldn’t feel like that because we’re all different. That’s one of the reasons I love the social media community so much, it doesn’t matter where we are, we can connect, no shame, no judgement, and those two things right there are two of the biggest healing tools I know.

Stick with it, one day at a time, and it will get easier.
Much love,