SoberMe

My Not So Secret Diary

Bliss

Bliss, Readymoney beach in Fowey. Wild swimming in Cornwall, Claire Hatwell author and sober blogger, My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not So Secret Guide to Recovering.
Bliss
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I really do love the sea!

True Story

True Story, how yoga helped my recovery and saved my life, Claire Hatwell author and sober blogger, My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not So Secret Guide to Recovering.
Once upon a time there was a girl who didn’t like herself very much. On the outside, everything looked great, but on the inside, she was sad and didn’t know how to fix it. She never felt good enough and worried about everything all the time. She felt judged by everyone, even when they meant the best. So at night, after everything was done, the kids were in bed and the house was tidy, she’d have a glass of wine to relax. But one was never enough, and gradually, that one glass became a bottle, and then two and then three, and she realised she couldn’t stop. It’s a slippery old slope that one of addiction and once you’re on it, it’s hard to claw your way back. Stopping drinking was just the beginning though, because once she was eating properly again, she started to put on weight, she was a really skinny drunk you see, and that made her resent herself and her sobriety, but she stuck at it, knowing she really didn’t want to disappear. She loved her kids and her husband and for some reason she really couldn’t comprehend, they loved her. So she tried, every day, and every day it was a struggle until one day it wasn’t. Somewhere on that journey she found yoga, and learned that her body might not be skinny anymore, but it was strong, she learned that it could do things she didn’t believe she could do, like standing on her head, and although she’d let it down over the years, her body never let her down. She found that when she was angry, getting on the mat and forcing herself through the motions until she was breathing properly and creating a flow was far better than drowning out her feelings with alcohol. Sometimes she still thinks she’s got a way to go, but sometimes, just sometimes, she realises, things are pretty good. Life is pretty good. She has a lot to be grateful for. Take a moment to realise what you have, you might realise it’s more than you think. Much love as always.

True

Steven Bartlett sayings, true words, sober inspiration, Claire Hatwell author and sober blogger, My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not So Secret Guide to Recovering.
This is so true!
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When in doubt... roll out your mat

Yoga has been really important in my recovery. It’s more than just being bendy, it makes you think and yet, it also takes you out of your head. I’m not the skinniest, I’m not the most flexible, but it works for me. This morning I did some #sunsalutations in the garden with my dog for company. Makes such a difference to my day!!

@soberme_claire Yoga has been really important in my recovery. It’s more than just being bendy, it makes you think and yet, it also takes you out of your head. I’m not the skinniest, I’m not the most flexible, but it works for me. This morning I did some #sunsalutations in the garden with my dog for company. Makes such a difference to my day!! . . #sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobermum #sobermovement #sobertruths #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #soberinspiration #sobervibes #onedayatatime #yoga #soberyogi #yogainthegarden #yogacornwall #yogawithmydog ♬ I Got U - Duke Dumont" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/I-Got-U-6927279708367276034?refer=embed"> I Got U - Duke Dumont

August Bank Holiday

Bank Holiday Weekend, true words, sober inspiration, sober family, sober life, sober, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
Bank holiday weekend
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Kite flying
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Dog walking
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Steam train spotting
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Two birthdays
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No hangovers. No blackouts. No regrets. One argument
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but we can’t be perfect there’s six of us in the house!
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Beautiful Day

Beautiful Day, my garden in Cornwall, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
What a beautiful day! What are your plans today?

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday 1, my kids birthdays Joe Hatwell, Katie Hatwell, 19th and 21st birthday Sober author and blogger Claire HatwellHappy Birthday 2, not twins but born on the same day, 19th and 21st birthday, Joe Hatwell and Katie Hatwell, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
Happy 21st to Joe and 19th to Katie our lovely oldest kiddies! Time has really flown by, but we are very proud of you both. (Sorry Katie had to steal your pics as I have nothing recent of the two of you together!)
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Time to Ourselves

Time to Ourselves, Lee Hatwell and Claire Hatwell, married couple, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell, Cornwall
Unexpected bit of time to ourselves this morning. Honestly this never happens so we’re making the most of it, even if it is only for a few minutes while we do some shopping
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Social Media

Social Media, Steven Bartlett, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
We have to be mindful that we’re not just trying to keep up with others by using social media. It can create divisions and leave us feeling lacking. Not as many people post their failures as they do their highlights, so just remember, you’re only looking at a snippet, not the whole story. That said, the use of a few hashtags can help us find our people so to speak. The online sober community is amazing, and it doesn’t matter where you are, you can find someone to connect with, to inspire you or that you can encourage. Just be mindful and remember to have breaks away too. The real world can be challenging, but its also very beautiful.

Hospital Corridors

Hospital Corridors with my family at Treliske hospital in Truro, Cornwall, family, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
Today was spent mostly in hospital corridors as I chased down an illusive bag of medication and waited for my Dad to be discharged. I’m getting to know my way around pretty well. Now I just have to wait for Mum to come out soon and all will hopefully return to normal. I for one can’t wait, and I know they feel the same!
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Fuelled by Costa

Fuelled by Costa, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
These things seem to be keeping me going at the moment!

Sober Shop

Shop Items available on Etsy at SoberMe, sober shop, sober gifts, inspiration, 1 week sober, one day at a time, 1 year sober, gift, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
New additions to my Etsy shop, unfortunately I can’t keep my website as up to date as I can my Etsy shop, so please check that out for a list of all my sobriety gifts, books and cards.

Yoga Time

Yoga Time, yoga, practice yoga change your life, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
In between jobs today I managed to find half an hour to myself for a bit of yoga. I took my mat outside and just slowed down. Makes the world of difference to me!
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Steam Trains and Stanley

Steam Trains and Stanley Hatwell at Launceston Steam Railway in Cornwall, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
A break from the norm today, my mother in law and I took my youngest to our local steam railway. It rained rather a lot, but we had a lot of fun!

Tuesday Trainer Pic (Again)

Tuesday Trainer Pic, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell, Converse, Chuck Taylors, Launceston Leisure Centre
It’s been a while since I’ve posted a Tuesday trainer pic, but today was one of those days. Swimming was louder than it’s been in a while, apparently the quiet weeks where children have been on holiday were just lulling me into a false sense of security. Today there was much noise, and kids having a bottle flipping fight over our heads because apparently that’s a good idea. I put my airpods in and wound the music up, but I could still hear the chaos over the top. Later, a parcel I’d redirected was sent somewhere else, which was just brilliant and took me far too much effort to retrieve. Then to top off my afternoon my daughter struggled to be allowed onto the ward to see my mum today when she went to the hospital drop some things off, which was unbelievably frustrating. I know we need rules, and people need to follow them, but it seems sometimes that they’re only followed by others when it can make life more difficult for me
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I was feeling properly frustrated on the way home, and with my five year old jabbering on next to me in the car, I decided to tell him before I exploded that it wasn’t him I was irritated with, just lots of things that were making me feel grumpy. I’m not sure whose idea it was, but the next thing I knew we were counting to three and shouting our frustrations out. Not once, but three times. I think he’d still be doing it, but he made my ears hurt! Whatever fools we looked, it made us both crack up which was great and I felt so much better
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If you need to let some frustration out, then I really suggest it, only make sure you’re not somewhere people can hear you!
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Beauty

Beauty, Bumble bees in our nature garden at work Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
You can find beauty anywhere. We have a little wildflower garden in our car park at work. It’s the only spot of beauty in an industrial area, but it’s a hive of activity. I sat outside today to eat my lunch in the sun and was surrounded by bees and butterflies. It makes me happy
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Parenting

Parenting, with my mum and dad at Treliske Hospital Cornwall, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
It’s a hard job being a parent. We try to get things right but every one of my four kids have provided me with completely new experiences and challenges. No two days are ever the same. We’re there for our children 100% of the time, until they begin to spread their wings and they need us less. Somewhere along the line we start to need them, for the little things and the big things. It’s another challenge, because just as there is no rule book for parents, there isn’t one for children either. I might be an adult but I don’t have all the answers, just good intentions and a need to help. My sobriety is a huge benefit because I don’t have to think about what I can or can’t do, regardless of the time of day. I might not get everything right, it’s a bit of a juggling act, but I do my best.
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This is me with my mum and dad, making the best of a visit in the hospital. I’m glad I can help them now, it’s good to be useful!
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Taking Things Personally

Personal Steven Bartlett Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
It took me a long time to realise this, and I’m not saying I still remember it every time something happens, but it’s true. Sometimes by facing up to our fears or worries or addictions, we are shining a light on those feelings in others. Let’s try not to take it personally. I know how I would have reacted if someone had told me to get sober before I was ready. It wouldn’t have been pretty and I wouldn’t have been ready for the journey. They’ll know when it’s right, and their battle isn’t ours. Save your energy for your own fight and most of all, have a great day!!
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Panic Attacks

Panic Attacks Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell with my daughter Katie Hatwell at West of England Steam Rally
I had a panic attack yesterday. They’re a lot less common that they used to be, but they seem to be getting more common as I try to do more and push myself out of my comfort zone more. What I hate is that they come out of the blue. I was having a lovely day, and then suddenly, when we stopped to look at something I felt my heart start to race and I couldn’t breathe. My first instinct was to run away, I’m never sure where to, but it’s either that or shut down and people will see me if I end up in a ball on the floor, so I don’t do that.
My family get it. I mean, they don’t understand why I’m like it, but then neither do I. They rally around me without smothering me and check I’m okay. They know talking to me or asking if I’m okay doesn’t work because it’s just another thing when I’m already on overload. They’re there, and that’s what matters.
Later, I tried to apologise. I know I don’t have to, and they don’t expect it, but I feel like I need to explain myself, even though in many respects, I don’t understand myself at all. It’s like I’ve momentarily lost control of my body, and then afterwards, when the adrenalin has subsided, I cry and feel exhausted. It’s embarrassing. No one is trying to change me though, they accept me for who I am. My husband even told me I should stop worrying abut trying to change things I can’t control. With those words, I felt a huge relief. It’s like I was fighting against a part of myself when I should have been accepting it. I may not like it, but it’s there, so I suppose I should get used to it.
It’s so easy to be kind and supportive to others, but it’s so much harder to do it to ourselves. I’m going to try to accept myself a little more. Let’s see if that makes a difference! If you've got any tips for dealing with panic attacks let me know, because I seem to forget everything when I'm in the middle of one!
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Shop Announcement

shop announcement for SoberMe shop on Etsy, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
I know so many of you choose gifts with a specific date in mind to celebrate a sober milestone or anniversary. With that in mind, if you're purchasing from my shop over the next little while, please be aware of the planned Royal Mail strikes, as once I've posted, things will be out of my hands and I'm not sure how that will affect deliveries. Thanks so much x

Hospital Heist

Hospital Heist, Treliske, Claire and Barney Hatwell in Cornwall, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
Yesterday we took part in a heist… breaking my mum/nanna out of her hospital ward and taking her to the hospital cafe for a change of scene. Don’t worry, we took her back again! It’s the little things, but this boy makes me smile.

Dear Drinkers

Dear Drinkers it's my choice to be alcohol free and it's so good to live a sober life Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
So good I had to repost!
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Thanks @sassysobermum
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Why aren’t you drinking? How long are you stopping for? Can’t you just have one when you’re out? Did you have a problem then? Go on, just have a drink. What will you do for fun now? I could never stop. Don’t you think you’re being a bit over the top? Just have a break from it. Reset yourself and then come back to it. Do you think this is forever then? I’ve cut down massively actually. I can easily drive on a night out if I want to. Why would you stop completely? Just save it for special occasions. Surely you will be drinking at my wedding/birthday/hen do/Christmas? Being sober wouldn’t be for me. I love drinking too much. Are you still doing that thing where you don’t drink then? How’s not drinking going - bored yet? Can I get you a proper drink? Go on, have a wine with me. Just for old times sake. I miss drinking you. You’re so boring now. Surely you’ve proved you can control it now. Why don’t you just have one and then drive home? Are you pregnant? Why don’t you just moderate?
Can I just not bloody drink and it be ok
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Jeez.
Remember folks, peoples reactions to you not drinking reflects their own relationship with alcohol and not yours.
Those that squawk the loudest tend to be the biggest (and most problematic) drinkers.
Keep your resolve.
Have a lovely day all

Stanley

Stanley Hatwell Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
Proud of my little man today! He was so brave although there were a few tears and he is now double vaccinated.

Meanwhile, in Japan

Meanwhile in Japan, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
Couldn’t believe it when I saw this in the news…

Leaving this here for you

Leaving This Here SoberMe Sayings by Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
I’m just going to leave this here… I’ll also let you into a secret. It’s completely true. Even on the hard days my sober life is so much better than it was with wine.
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Stay strong!
You got this!
I believe in you

Results Day


Results Day 2Results Day
Results day! We needed treats! I am so proud of this young man - it’s been a bumpy old year, but he still got a distinction!
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Brace Day

Brace Day, Claire Hatwell and Barn Hatwell in Portman Smile Clinic Truro. Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
Up and out early today as it’s the official removal of braces day for my son Barney!
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He hates me taking selfies with him, so this is a rare one!

Appearances

Appearances, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell, in Rock Cornwall wild swimming
We put so much value on how someone looks, and I don’t mean appearance, I mean how they act and behave. I’d like to say I’m not judgemental, but I still make assumptions about how someone might be based on the way they are. For a long time no one would ever have imagined I had a drinking problem because I hid it so well behind my mask…
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No one really knows whats going on for anyone else, even when we’re well meaning, we can get it wrong. We’re people after all. I assume other people don’t have faults, and imagine I’m the only one, but likewise, I forget sometimes that other people have worries too, often I’m so caught up in my own that I forget. Again, that doesn’t mean I’m bad, I’m just a person too.
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We spend so much time being kind to other people, and thinking about them, don’t forget to be kind to yourselves too!
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Beautiful

Beautiful Flowers Claire Hatwell sober author and blogger
A week later, and still looking beautiful!
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Swimming the worries away

10 mins swim in Rock Cornwall, wildswimming, Sober author and blogger Claire Hatwell
Took myself for a ten minute swim yesterday. It doesn’t fix everything in the world but it makes it all feel a little bit more manageable
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Perceptions

Perceptions, Claire Hatwell on the beach in Cornwall, Hatwell writer and author, sober blogger, My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not So Secret Guide to Recovery, sober author and blogger
I struggle with TV from time to time. I think my life is so full already that I don’t have the time or mental capacity for too much drama. I tend to prefer a bit of fantasy and escape from the real world; oh how I miss Game of Thrones! There’s the odd ‘normal’ thing I enjoy too, often a good hospital drama, but I’ll be honest, more and more it seems that TV programmes carry a message rather than just being there for entertainment. I’ve lost track of the amount of shows that have used an alcoholic parent as the reason behind every one of the main characters mistakes or poor choices and I’m a bit over it to be honest. While in no way am I suggesting it’s something you’d hope for, I don’t think we can condemn people as bad parents because they have an alcohol dependency. My kids have always been the centre of my world, and to suggest I was a bad parent due to my drinking really upsets me, because it’s not true. I am not and was never a bad person, just one who drank too much. Now, yes, I am a better version of myself, but I was never ‘bad’ and in my mind, these shows just reinforce all the worries ‘normal’ mums and dads like me feel about getting help. We don’t want to admit we’re struggling, so we keep the act up until one day when we can’t anymore. The other thing is the way recovery is often portrayed on TV as a few rough days and then back to normal. When my recovery didn’t look like that, I felt like I was doing something wrong. We shouldn’t feel like that because we’re all different. That’s one of the reasons I love the social media community so much, it doesn’t matter where we are, we can connect, no shame, no judgement, and those two things right there are two of the biggest healing tools I know.

Stick with it, one day at a time, and it will get easier.
Much love,
Claire

In the Office

Work Buddy, mum Claire Hatwell and Stanley Hatwell at work in Launceston. Sober blogger, and author based in Cornwall
So the heatwave finally broke today, giving us torrential rain and thunder and lightning, but it gave me and my little work buddy something to watch out of the office window!

Rosettes

Rosettes, Sober Me gift shop on Etsy for recovery and sobriety, Claire Hatwell sober blogger and author
One of my most popular celebration rosettes, lots more available in my Etsy shop. Have you checked it out?

Other People

Other People, Claire Hatwell, Sober writer and author, My Not So Secret Diary, My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not So Secret guide to recovering, Cornwall
I suppose I always imagined that when I finally stopped drinking other people would be proud and cheer me on. I expected them to understand what a challenge it was for me, and almost be in awe of this amazing thing I’d achieved. I was wrong, because unless you’ve had a problem with alcohol, how could you possibly understand this sort of addiction? Honestly, how could they understand when they didn’t go through recovery with me? I portrayed such a polished outward appearance, that no one other than those closest to me would even begin to understand what was going on in my mind. The two parts of myself were hard enough for me to reconcile, let alone for someone else.
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There are situations even now, that I won’t put myself in. It’s not because I’m afraid I’ll drink again, because I’m not. It’s more that I don’t want to be surrounded by people that do. At times, we’re on separate paths, and that’s okay, it’s like, I wouldn’t go to a gym just to watch people work out, so why would I go to a pub to watch people drink? I’m realising more and more that I’m okay with that.
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Before, when I was invited to something, I wouldn’t have been so honest, I would have tried to go, and either got grumpy or stressed out because it wasn’t where I wanted to be. I’m learning it’s okay, that I don’t need to be afraid of upsetting people, because my thoughts and feelings matter too. It’s my choice not to drink, a good one that I stand by, and if I want it to stick, then I have to defend it, and not be ashamed. So that’s what I’m doing. I can’t believe I’ll have been doing it for six years next month. There was a time when six days was impossible.
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My advice is to just do you. It will get easier. It will be challenging too, and not everyone will understand, but unless they’ve walked in your shoes, we can’t expect them to. Trust me, those that matter will stay, and in the long run the journey will be so worthwhile.
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Take care of yourselves x

Behind the Scenes

Just a little bit of laser engraving, watch to the end to see the finished products.

@soberme_claire Packing up items to post out tomorrow. Check out my Etsy shop for more sober gifts and cards 💖 . #sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful Stories - Lux-Inspira" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Stories-7030730469670946817"> Stories - Lux-Inspira

Etsy Packaging

Packing up items to post out tomorrow. Check out my Etsy shop for more sober gifts and cards 💖

@soberme_claire Packing up items to post out tomorrow. Check out my Etsy shop for more sober gifts and cards 💖 . #sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful Stories - Lux-Inspira" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Stories-7030730469670946817"> Stories - Lux-Inspira

Available Now!

Are you sober curious? Maybe questioning your relationship with alcohol? I've been working on this. I'm so excited to share it with you! Okay, so buying a journal won't magically make you sober, but it will give you a focus, for the good and the bad moments. Journals are a simple and effective way to keep you on track and I've used my knowledge as a qualified sober coach to help keep you focussed. • If you're dipping your toe into the pool of sobriety who knows, this might be just what you are looking for!

@soberme_claire Are you sober curious? Maybe questioning your relationship with alcohol? I've been working on this. I'm so excited to share it with you! Okay, so buying a journal won't magically make you sober, but it will give you a focus, for the good and the bad moments. Journals are a simple and effective way to keep you on track and I've used my knowledge as a qualified sober coach to help keep you focussed. • If you're dipping your toe into the pool of sobriety who knows, this might be just what you are looking for! . . #soberweekend #sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration #sobervibes #sobersaturday #nohangoversunday #sobersummer #booktok #bookstagram #quitlit original sound - SoberMe_Claire" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7131274519578200838"> original sound - SoberMe_Claire

Happy Place

Sober adventures with my lovely daughter this weekend. Honestly I had a couple of panicky moments, but never in a million years would I have contemplated such a full on 700 mile round trip and day out when I was drinking. We had so much fun - no alcohol required!

@soberme_claire Sober adventures with my lovely daughter this weekend. Honestly I had a couple of panicky moments, but never in a million years would I have contemplated such a full on 700 mile round trip and day out when I was drinking. We had so much fun - no alcohol required! #london #happyplacefestival #chiswickhouse #mumanddaughter #soberweekend #sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration #sobervibes #sobersaturday #nohangoversunday Good Time - Jodie Harsh" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Good-Time-7064865236469172226"> Good Time - Jodie Harsh

Friday Night

Friday Night, sober nights on the beach with my husband Lee Hatwell. Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not so secret guide to recovering and the road to recovery. Sober Blogger in CornwallFriday Night part, Joe Hatwell and Stanley Hatwell on the beach in Rock, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not so secret guide to recovering and the road to recovery. Sober Blogger in Cornwall

My Friday nights certainly look different now, but I am not complaining! We had a lovely, unrushed evening at the beach after the heat of the sun had gone. The water was so warm too! Feeling full of gratitude!
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In Need of Some Sober Inspiration?

Sober Inspiration, books by Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not so secret guide to recovering and the road to recovery. Sober Blogger in Cornwall
Need some summer sober inspiration or a good book for the beach? Which of my books have you read?
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All are available on Amazon, or for a signed copy, visit my Etsy page.

BoardMasters

BoardMasters, my son Barn Hatwell off to his festival, books by Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not so secret guide to recovering and the road to recovery. Sober Blogger in Cornwall
There’s a fine balance between letting your kids grow up and pushing them. I’m constantly trying to get it right, and even with four kids, I get it wrong sometimes, because they are all so different. Today I took my 17 year old (my second youngest) to @boardmasters - I want him to have a good time, but man, am I worried about him already! He’s meeting his friends, if he can find them in the crowd… I’m sure he’ll be fine, but in this heat, it’s even worse! It doesn’t get easier as they get older. The one good thing is I know if he needs me over the weekend, I’ll be able to get there straight away, being alcohol free does come with a lot of benefits!

Yum

Yum Cawston Apple Can, Non Alcoholic Drinks, Sober Me, Sober Blogger, Claire Hatwell writer and author
Yum! Now this is worth a try. My husband popped to the shop last night and came back with some of these for me. It’s not too sweet, and really hits the spot!

Last Night

Friday Night, Claire Hatwell, sober nights on the beach, no regrets, no hangovers, books by Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not so secret guide to recovering and the road to recovery. Sober Blogger in Cornwall 
It’s nights like last night that make me remember the true reason I love being sober.

We avoided the heat of the day and went down to the beach after work, around 7pm. We built sandcastles and swam in the sea as the sun went down, not all of us, just me, my husband and two of our four kids. We talked and laughed. Around 10pm we made our way back to the car, because it was getting dark, and the midges were beginning to bite, not because I wanted a drink. We came home and ate a very late dinner, and then went to bed. I was relaxed, I didn’t ruin the night because I wanted to drink or because I had got drunk. I remember everything, the coldness of the water, the sand between my toes, and how happy I am to be with my family. Nothing gets in the way anymore. There’s no panic over what I might have said, or might have done, because I was 100% there. I’ve said it before, but the simple things matter so much more now, because I slow down long enough to see them.
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Have a great day, where ever you are!

Avoiding the Heat

Avoiding the heat 1, Merlin Cinema in Bodmin, Claire Hatwell, sober blogger, sober author, my not so secret recoveryAvoiding the heat 2, Merlin Cinema in Bodmin, Claire Hatwell, sober blogger, sober author, my not so secret recovery
Taking a break from the heat of the son to watch Sonic 2 today. Forgot how hot it was until I left the air conditioning behind!

Gratitude

Gratitude, Fleurtations in Bodmin, Claire Hatwell, sober blogger, sober author, my not so secret recoveryIt’s always nice to be appreciated, but even better when you get an unexpected delivery like this! 1f4961f4901f338

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Sober Tokens

Coins, sober token, SoberMe Etsy Shop, Claire Hatwell, sober blogger, sober author, my not so secret recovery
New bits in my shop! These tokens are designed by me and laser engraved into wood, so they’re all unique. I hope you like them!

The Road to Recovery

Road to Recovery Sober Journal by Claire Hatwell, recovery and sobriety author and blogger
I like books. I like reminders. I like a plan. So recently, I’ve been working on this… I’m so excited to share it with you!
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Okay, so buying a journal won’t magically make you sober, but it will give you a focus, for the good and the bad moments. Journals are a simple and effective way to keep you on track and I’ve used my knowledge as a qualified sober coach to help keep you focussed.
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If you’re dipping your toe into the pool of sobriety who knows, this might be just what you are looking for!
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Shopping

Shopping with Stanley Hatwell for school shoes, in Plymouth, Sober Mum, books by Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not so secret guide to recovering and the road to recovery. Sober Blogger in Cornwall
It was ridiculously hot today, but we managed to get all the school shopping done for the new term. Afterwards I treated myself to a mango and passionfruit cooler to cool down, way better treat than anything alcoholic!

Blurt

Blurt it out charity, Claire Hatwell, author, my not so secret recovery, sober blogger
I treated myself to some lovely cards from @theblurtfoundation - this message definitely applies to me. Isn’t it funny how these things come up out of nowhere to make us realise how we treat ourselves?

Sharing

Sharing More Stories to help, sober blog, claire hatwell, blogger from cornwall, sobriety, my not so secret recovery
I've had some wonderful contributions so far, but there's still time if you'd like to submit your story to me for my new project. Just think who your story might inspire!

Lunch Date

Lunch Date claire hatwell with stanley hatwell. sober blogger from cornwall, writer and author of my not so secret recovery
Lunch date with this gorgeous young man
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It’s been a busy week, so today, I’m slowing down and making time, because the little things matter so much
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Reasons

Reasons to stop drinking and go sober. claire hatwell author and blogger. my not so secret recovery
At least I can say now that my mistakes are my own, and not drink fuelled, and the best thing is, I actually remember the night before… Anyone else feel this way?

Better Than Before

You know that moment when something literally speaks to you? Well, @lizzobeeating has hit the nail on the head with this one. Sobriety has changed me, and while I’m not going to pretend everything is rosy now, things are a whole lot better than they were. I’m a lot better than I was. So don’t beat yourselves up about what has gone before, instead try to let it shape who you are now.

@soberme_claire Sometimes the lyrics of a song can really hit the mark. Don’t beat yourselves up about what has gone before, instead let us shape who we are now. .#sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration #sobervibes About Damn Time - Lizzo" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/About-Damn-Time-7086201843973621762"> About Damn Time - Lizzo

Waves

Waves my mug from Saltrock Cornwall. Claire Hatwell sober writer and blogger
Even at my desk, thoughts of the ocean aren’t far away!
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Breaking Up

Breaking Up with alcohol. going sober. sobriety inspiration. claire hatwell writer and author. my not so secret recovery
I love this explanation of why we feel like we’re mourning a relationship when we break up with alcohol. We know it’s not good for us and yet we stay far too long, until we lose ourselves. Not any more. And if it does take us a while to find ourselves again, well that’s okay. At least this time we’re working on something positive!
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Thanks @walking_the_straight_line
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this was too good not to share!

I don't care how long it takes to feel like I'm totally free of all the negative effects that alcohol had on my life...
Everything about me and my life improves every month that I'm sober, and that's more than good enough for me.

Sober Adventures

Sober Adventures, Chiswick Park in London, Happy Place Festival, Claire Hatwell, sober blogger, sober author, my not so secret recovery
At New Year I made a resolution to try to push myself out of my comfort zone. I realised that I’d spent a long time drinking, then a long time hiding from covid and my anxiety. I like being at home, and when you’re happy, it’s easier not to, but life is short.

This year I’ve done things I never would have done before; while small to many, they are huge for me. I’ve found making a booking is just the first step… after that I start to panic. It’s the logistics, the what if’s, and I’m not sure why, because I can’t ever remember things going terribly wrong before. I just expect that they will. As we get closer, it seems less and less achievable. It’s weird wanting to do something at the same time as wanting a good enough reason not to do it.

Last weekend, me and my daughter went to Happy Place Festival. Not a big thing you might think, but it is when we live in Cornwall and had to go to London for it. I booked the sleeper train, arriving at Paddington at 5am; plenty of time to explore and get breakfast beforehand.

I’ll be honest, I panicked. Not the usual ‘oh dear where am I going’ rather, ‘ah I can’t breathe and everyone is looking,’ but I got through it. Did I want to run away? Yes, but to be honest, once in London, there was nowhere to go. I’m really proud of myself for doing it, for not giving in, for not letting fear and anxiety hold me back. I’m also proud of Katie for understanding and tolerating my crazy. I hate that I get anxious and feel like a burden, but I was okay, and I wouldn’t have been a while back.

The festival was great. We listened to inspirational speakers, ate lovely food and did brilliant things. There wasn’t a drop of alcohol in sight and that was refreshing. It was nice that everyone had the same calm, relaxed mindset. The journey home on the train was very different with lots of rowdy football supporters! It was a challenge, but I managed and I’m glad. I’m going to carry on pushing myself although I might take a break in between to reset!

Today

Happy Place Festival, Chiswick Park London, Katie Hatwell, Claire Hatwell, author, my not so secret recovery, sober blogger, Fearne Cotton
Tomorrow I’ll write a proper post and share some more photos, but suffice to say, we had a brilliant day in London today. On our way home now, tired but happy
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Days like these would never have happened before I was sober.
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Check my story for more from today.
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Summer Days

Summer Days 1, Stanley Hatwell in Cornwall, swimming in the seaSummer Days 2 Claire Hatwell, author, my not so secret recovery, sober blogger, Cornish sea swimmer
Making the most of the sunshine and a day off work today with my water baby. I’m making sure I get him started cold water swimming young!
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We might not be going on holiday this year, but who needs to when we live here?

It’s Quite Clear, I Don’t Miss It

I don't miss drinking alcohol, sober blog, claire hatwell, author from cornwall in my garden in bodmin
It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a house party, or any party for that matter, and yet recently, we ended up playing host to one. It wasn’t intentional, I think the words “BBQ” and “Friends” were mentioned, and as it was one of our kids’ birthdays, we said yes. It was meant to be more of a gathering than a party and we said it was no problem as long as everyone was sensible. No one has drunk in our house since I stopped over five years ago, so although I wanted to do it for them, it was weird. I’ve always been honest, but my problems are not my kids problems, and they’re not going to learn from my mistakes, so we let them explore (within reason).

My teenager was summoned to the door by other teenagers requiring access. Some nodded towards me, others didn’t, and once they were in, that was it, the house apparently was theirs. I didn’t mind, not while they were being respectful, but it’s funny that the parental gatekeepers of the front door don’t seem to exist as they once did. There was no small talk or forced politeness. I was the one who felt awkward in the house.

Suffice to say, we didn’t sleep much that night, but one by one, the teenagers departed, leaving the house quieter and quieter until four remained, watching movies in the lounge. When I got up the next morning, they were still asleep, four mounds under the covers. I looked outside, my lovely garden strewn with rubbish, but other than that, everything seemed to have survived. The house was all in one piece, and so were they. Although I am sure, several of them had sore heads.

For me it’s too much drama. I don’t miss that at all. The tears and unpredictable emotions that I witnessed from the other side, as one or two of them drank more than they should. No harm was done, but I know my own teenager was more stressed than necessary, feeling a watchful eye needed to be kept all night. The evening of fun and enjoyment was ruined for him by those who lacked control. It’s a hard lesson, but one I hope he learns while he’s young, before he makes the mistakes I did. On the good side, whatever else happened, it served a good reminder to me, for why I don’t drink, and for that, I’m grateful to them.

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