My Not So Secret Diary

Christmas 2020

Christmas 2020
We've had a wonderful Christmas. It's been quiet of course, but sometimes that's what we need. It’s also the first Christmas I can safely say I haven't worried about drinking or even wanted to drink at all. It’s the first time in my four years of sobriety that I haven't felt like I've been missing out.

Life of course goes on. My family’s lives don’t revolve around my sobriety and even though they are supportive, I wouldn't want it to affect them any more than necessary.

Obviously like many others, my three teenagers have been affected by our Covid lockdowns and the restrictions that we've been placed under. We’ve all tried to keep things normal, but that's hard when the world isn't normal anymore. Recently our daughter went out for drinks with some friends as it was one of their 19th birthdays. Over the years she's struggled at times with friendship groups but at a time when things could be harder and almost more isolating, she seems to have come into her own, and found a lovely group of friends. It’s so good to see her coming out of herself and growing into a lovely young woman. That night her younger brother was working and also needed a lift so we asked her older brother to take her to the pub to meet her friends. They went to a Wetherspoons in a neighbouring town. I didn't realise having not been in that now all orders are done by an app and then brought to you. It makes sense in this crazy Covid world, but it also means that when your big brother finds out your table number he can order several rounds of drinks to the table unbeknown to you and your friends. He dropped her off later and she told me about her “Wonderful” evening. She was funny as she was a little tipsy, something that we haven’t seen before, but she had a really nice time and it was lovely to see her enjoy herself.

I've never aimed to stop anyone from drinking. All I ask is that they don't try to encourage me to, or to make me feel bad about my choice. However, it was really nice to be able to share in Katie's enjoyment of her evening and know that her brother was looking after her. I've warned them of the dangers of drinking every night like I did and creating habits that are hard to break, but other than that I want them all to go out and have fun; it's only what I did when I was younger.

The best thing nowadays is finally having reached a place where I can relax about others drinking. I don't need to, I don't want to, but that doesn't mean I'm boring or missing out. It means that I'm making the best choice I can for myself. Meanwhile, I can still enjoy seeing my kids having fun. My choice doesn't have to affect them.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas?

Thank you as always for reading, and take care.
Claire x