My Not So Secret Diary

Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts
Although it might sound strange as you are reading my blog, it actually takes a lot for me to share my feelings, but I think that’s perhaps because I over analyse them a lot. I try to work out where the thoughts come from and answer my questions myself, probably because in the past other people have asked me why I feel a certain way and I’ve been unable to answer. For example, why I panic so much (anxiety), why I worry so much (self esteem) and why I drank so much (alcoholism). It’s easier to work things out for myself than ask for help, but also, I don’t feel I always need a sounding board for my wonderings.

As I know I’ve said before, writing is my therapy. Getting my muddles out of my head happens far more fluently and coherently via a pen and paper than by chatting, at least for me. I know that won’t be the case for everyone though. It also always makes me feel better to think that someone, somewhere might read my thoughts and find it helps them.

One of my favourite quotes is “Connection is the opposite of addiction.” (Johann Hari). It’s true. Connecting with those that get you, usually through shared experiences of some kind, is valuable. It’s probably one of the reasons AA works so well for many people. It’s possible you’re able to be understood with less need for explanation.

Sharing is scary. Being vulnerable is scary because it takes a lot to admit things you may not be proud of. Some of us struggle to share things we are proud of anyway, so it’s even harder when we’re embarrassed or ashamed, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying. During a conversation recently I was told that there are two perspectives on honesty, one from each side of the experience. It’s strange to think about it, but really, it’s quite right. We all see things in different ways and just because I feel a particular way about something, doesn’t mean necessarily mean either of us are wrong if you don’t agree.

I think the most important thing to remember, whatever our point of view, is to be kind to ourselves and those around us. Who knows what challenges others might be facing, even if they don’t choose to share.

Thank you as always for reading

Claire xx