My Not So Secret Diary

Addicted to Hope

addicted to hopeAt the start of my sober journey, when I first began to address my drinking problem, I was ashamed. I had no real reason to be, but I felt it anyway. I felt I’d let myself down and was scared of what people would think. It took me a long time to realise that the person who was most disappointed in me was myself. Eventually I began to realise that I could beat myself up and be hard on myself, but it wouldn’t change anything and it certainly wouldn’t make anything any better. .Slowly, I learned to be a bit kinder to myself and I got better. I began to write as a way to make sense of my feelings and eventually posted my thoughts on my blog. I was astounded as readers began to contact me, telling me their stories, and I realised that I wasn’t alone. .I’m five years sober now, and a lot more confident in my choices. I know not everyone will ‘get it’ but that’s probably more about them than it is about me. I speak out to help others and to show that there is no stereotypical addict, it can literally affect anyone..@phoenix_futures contacted me recently and I am proud to work with them to help break down the stigma around addiction. Talking about our experiences helps us make sense of our journey and the world. We don’t have to be ashamed, everything we experience changes us, but that isn’t always a bad thing.