SoberMe

My Not So Secret Diary

The Effects of Alcohol on our Children

Just before Christmas I read an article called, “The Damaging Effect of Alcohol Culture on Our Kids.” Although it is written from an American perspective, I think the effects are the same here in the UK too.

It’s a sad fact that the more children see adults using alcohol as a way to manage stress or emotions, the more they will turn to it for the same reason as they get older. The author of the article points to an event where she was stressed and upset with her children and the youngest, only a toddler, brings her an empty wine glass, already seeing the link between the glass and a calm mummy. Is this what we want for our children? She states, “Children don’t copy what we say, they copy what we do. And what we are doing is drinking in almost every social situation and glorifying booze without a second thought.” Every advert they see and all our actions are modelling what we perceive is normal, and teaching our children that we need an external source to manage our behaviour and emotions, which is often found in a bottle.

The article goes on to discuss the messages we are bombarded with, regarding drinking, you know the ones, where you buy a glass reminding you that it’s prosecco time or something equally as bizarre. These bother me, but I always wondered if I was just being over-sensitive. It’s quite refreshing to read that I am clearly not the only one who hates the justification all these gifts provide.

I like the clarity of one of the final statements given by the author when she says, “Lastly, and most importantly, if you’re drinking daily in front of your kids, stop. It starts and ends with your example. If you cannot get through the day without a drink, if you use wine as the fix-all for your stress, and you’re showing your kids that alcohol is a required part of adulthood, you are sending them the message that substance = stress reliever.” When you read it like that, it’s quite clear of the example we send to our children by drinking regularly, and yet we are surprised when our youngsters grow up and begin to ‘experiment’. They are only replicating what they see, in the culture of our society, and reinforced by our behaviour at home.

I’m not trying to demonise alcohol for recreational purposes, I know many people out there can moderate and that drinking at home is only an occasional experience. There are however, a lot of people like me, who cannot moderate, and by drinking regularly around their children we are only encouraging them to do the same as they get older.

I hope that by gaining my sobriety, I have broken the circle for my children, and they won’t fall into the same traps that I have. On the other side, though, at least if they do, I’ll be there to understand and help them pick up the pieces.

Here’s the link if you want to have a read of the article by Emily Lynn Paulson,
https://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/the-damaging-effect-of-alcohol-culture-on-our-kids

Thanks for reading.

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