31 January. 2023
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I wasn't meant to run today… I'm well aware that I need to factor in days off as well as days training so I get stronger without injury, but my mind plays games with me. For some reason, today I've swung between feeling guilty for not running, like somehow I'm cheating myself, and the opposite, by trying to make excuses not to run tomorrow. It's weird because I know I'll enjoy it and feel great after, but I find myself putting obstacles in the way.
Hopefully my enthusiasm will be back tomorrow! Tell me I'm not the only one who ends up feeling this way!
I can’t believe I ever forgot how good running made me feel!! Still slow, still not ever going to win races, but it properly calms my mind, and I feel proud of myself for getting out there when it would be easier not to after a day at work. I’ll be honest too, knowing you’re there as my accountability is helping too, so thank you!
And today has involved me being a responsible adult while my son practices driving. He’s been patient waiting for us to sort a car out for him, so now I’m going to allow myself to be driven everywhere! 🥰🚗 To be fair, he did really well!
I made myself go! It would have been so easy not to. Life gets in the way sometimes, and then there’s the fear… but today it didn’t win. I did. I used to be faster but that doesn’t matter, because today I ran. And you know what? Tomorrow I might just do it again because right now I feel the most relaxed that I’ve done in weeks! 🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️
Thanks everyone. Your support means so much
Freedom. That's what sobriety gives me. Today I had to be up stupidly early to take my dad to the hospital. It can be stressful enough thinking about appointments and getting somewhere on time, especially when it's for someone else... the difference is that I don't have alcohol to add to the stress anymore. Last night I didn't have the argument with myself about having just the one, or trying to moderate, which would have been impossible, and this morning, I didn't even have to think about having a hangover, because they are thankfully a thing of the past.
I used to think being sober would mean I missed out, or that life would be boring. Instead, I’ve just gained so much more time. The positives are all there, sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of them.
What a day… It’s been a long time since I’ve had a day where my temper has boiled up and I’ve felt likely to explode. It’s not just one thing, it’s been lots of little things; a stressful work meeting, a delivery driver ignoring my instructions, climbing our back gate to leave a parcel out in the rain. It was a book so I wasn’t impressed. The bin men left my bin half way down the road so I had to go and find it, and I got a message to return a call but the wrong name was written down so when I called back I felt like an idiot. None of them were big, and on their own I would have been fine but together? Well. Shouting would have made me feel better but not achieved anything…
On the way to school I thought over the day and beat myself up because I didn’t deal with it better. But, as I’m writing this I’m realising I’m missing all the good things; the moment where I was felt like I was going to have a panic attack and didn’t, the moment when I could have shouted but didn’t, or the moment when I apologised for sounding agro because it wasn’t that person’s fault.
I guess the thing is, it’s easy to find fault with ourselves. I know I find it easy anyway, but then we forget the good things and I know I do some of them too. Why is it so much easier to let others off the hook than it is to let ourselves off? Let’s try not to be too hard on ourselves; no one’s perfect. It’s easy to forget that when we start to compare ourselves with our perception of others, but it’s seldom true.
I hope you all have a good day today, whatever you’re up to!
I first saw The Tonic CBD at Happy Place Festival last year… As you may know, I’ve been struggling with my anxiety again recently, so I treated myself to some of their tea. Not only is it lovely, but I really think it’s having a positive effect. Long may it last! 💖
Cool for the Summer - Demi Lovato" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Cool-for-the-Summer-6941844279883761665?refer=embed">♬ Cool for the Summer - Demi Lovato
@soberme_claire I'm not sure if it's the same for everyone, but certainly for me, I questioned myself for a long time about the level of my drinking. I was afraid to talk to anyone else, because I thought (wrongly) that rather than help and support me, they'd judge and condemn me. However, I was right in that talking to other people made my problem real and made me avoid it for so long. I knew once I 'owned up' to my problem, I'd have to do something about it. I just didn't know how to, or what a life without wine would look like. . I've said so many times before that our journeys are all very different, but right now, I thought I'd share a few points that might help you if you're questioning your relationship with alcohol. Don't forget, you don't have to take this journey on by yourself, there is so much help and support available now. Trust me when I say, you're not alone and although I'm only speaking for myself, I believe wholeheartedly that those of us a little further along our journeys want to help those of you just starting out. . Take care, and much love, Claire x . . . . #sober #soberjourney #soberlife #soberaf #sobernotboring #sobermum #sobercommunity #sobersupportgroup #alcoholdependent #alcoholfree #sobernotboring #soberandproud #signs #dryjanuary #idontdrink ♬
I'm not sure if it's the same for everyone, but certainly for me, I questioned myself for a long time about the level of my drinking. I was afraid to talk to anyone else, because I thought (wrongly) that rather than help and support me, they'd judge and condemn me. However, I was right in that talking to other people made my problem real and made me avoid it for so long. I knew once I 'owned up' to my problem, I'd have to do something about it. I just didn't know how to, or what a life without wine would look like.
I've said so many times before that our journeys are all very different, but right now, I thought I'd share a few points that might help you if you're questioning your relationship with alcohol. Don't forget, you don't have to take this journey on by yourself, there is so much help and support available now. Trust me when I say, you're not alone and although I'm only speaking for myself, I believe wholeheartedly that those of us a little further along our journeys want to help those of you just starting out.
Take care, and much love,
How my sober Sundays are spent now… A bit of cleaning, a bit of time with the family and a bit of time designing and making some sober gifts for my etsy shop. How has your day been?
💖 #sober #sobervibes #productiveweekend #sobersunday #soberweekend #etsyshop #etsyseller #etsysmallbusiness #soberjourney #soberaf #soberlife #sobertiktok #soberinstagram #sobercommunity #sobersupport #soberandstrong #sobernation #soberuk ♬ Stories - Lux-Inspira" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Stories-7030730469670946817?refer=embed">♬ Stories - Lux-Inspira
@soberme_claire How my sober Sundays are spent now. A bit of cleaning, a bit of time with the family and a bit of time designing and making some sober gifts for my etsy shop. How has your day been?
Back in my drinking days all I thought about was the image. I couldn’t afford to let the way people saw me slide, and do you know why? The only reason was that I was terrified that if someone saw the real me, vulnerable and anxious that they might try to talk to me about how much I was drinking. Worse still, they might try to stop me. The thought of living a life without wine was worse than living a fake life and pretending I was okay when I wasn’t. The thing is, you can’t maintain the facade forever. No one can. Rock bottoms look different for everyone, but when I hit mine it made me realise that I’d been so protective of my need to drink, I’d forgotten who I really was. Finding yourself again can be a big adventure. So embrace it, scary bits and all, because who knows what good things you might find 💖💖
I feel like I’ve had a fairly productive week. It’s weird because it started off with me being really emotionally wobbly, but whereas normally I’d be fairly hard on myself, I managed to mostly let it go, accepting that this is the way I am. I kept my mind open and listened to some inspirational podcasts; I know they weren’t talking to me, but some of what was said was actually right on the mark, and again, it reminded me that I’m not the only one, that other people too have their ups and downs, and that’s okay. If you haven’t listened to @steven podcast with @davinamccall yet, then I really recommend it. Feeling inspired I decided to look into hypnotherapy to see if it might help my anxiety, so imagine my surprise when that night @iampaulmckenna was on @bbcone talking about his new book about exactly that. I downloaded it on to my kindle the same night, I’ll let you know if his techniques make any difference. Anyway, I’m certainly feeling more positive than I was, so that can only be a good thing right?
This may sound controversial, but bear with me... My anxiety and spiralling thoughts are hard to deal with sometimes. If I'm honest, in someways it was easier when I was drinking because I wasn't aware of my feelings. But, and this is the bit I want you to remember, it gets easier.
If you have a drink today, you're back at square one, and you'll have to ride the early days out again. I know for sure that I won't have a drink ever again, because I don't have it in me to go through recovery again. Getting to a point where I feel everything; the good bits and the bad bits, was hard; but I also found I got to know myself a lot more than I ever did before.
So stick with it, even if it's hard, because all you're saying no to is this one drink. Don't make it forever if that sounds too scary, just think of today, and tomorrow, just deal with that.
I promise, things will get easier. You should be so proud, every day is a win. Stay strong. I'm proud of you x
Maybe I assumed my problem was more noticeable, or that it affected other people more than it did, but when I stopped drinking, I thought people would be understanding and supportive. While some were, a lot weren’t, and tried to get me to have the ‘odd’ drink, or spent time trying to justify their drinking to me. I suppose what I’m saying is that other people just didn’t understand, and while I expected them to, I look back and see that I was the one that was wrong. Of course, it would be nice if everyone understood and accepted each of our decisions, but that isn’t likely in reality. We live in a diverse world, one full of difference, and while our decisions should be respected, we cannot expect others to understand when they haven’t walked the same path as us.
The most important thing in my opinion is to surround yourself with people who do get you. Who don’t judge you. Who don’t have ultierior motives. Who support you. You might find groups of people in the real world, but the power of having them online too is great. The power of the hashtag can unite us all, and there’s power in numbers. We’re all the same, but we’re different too. Our paths are the same, but different. The biggest thing is that even though our experiences may not be the same, we understand each other.
Trust yourself. If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, that’s all that matters. Do what’s right for you, not what other people think. And be kind to yourself. Not everyone will get you, but I do
I love this so much that I had to share. Honestly though… how true is this? We can handle far more than we give ourselves credit for, far more than we often believe we can. Yes things can be hard, uncomfortable, maybe even downright nasty, but we can come through them. Hang in there lovely people. We’ve got this
Repost from @happyplaceofficial
I’ve always struggled with balance. It’s like I had an inbuilt need to keep busy to prove my self worth. It was one of the reasons I kept drinking, because when I’d had a few, was the only time I stopped being busy. It wasn’t real relaxation though and I think I knew that, even back then. Relearning how to cope with that aspect of my life in sobriety was hard and even today is something I struggle with. But… and here is the big but…I haven’t given up. I know it’s not easy and yet I try, daily, to catch myself and slow myself down. Not always easy when your mind is ten steps ahead of you… and sometimes even further than that. Just be kind to yourself if you’re going through something similar. It does get easier
This is a recent piece I wrote for @launcestonlifemag
When I started my sober journey I couldn’t contemplate ‘forever’ it was far too scary. Instead I worked moment by moment, counting the little wins. I found visual aids great to help me track my progress and keep me on my path when things got tricky which is why I designed these trackers, available printed or for download on my etsy shop. It might be just the thing you need to help you stay on track this New Year.
It’s all about balance, so today after ripping out our old kitchen and discovering another hidden gem of a fireplace (gotta love a renovation project
) we took the youngest and the dog for a walk through the fields. The sky was beautiful and it was so peaceful
Working on balance is one of my priorities this year.