SoberMe

My Not So Secret Diary

Letting Go

Letting Go me and my daughter at the beach in Cornwall writing for my sobriety and mental health blog My Not So Secret Diary by Claire Hatwell
I’ve always found the term, “letting go of what no longer serves you,” an interesting one. How do you know what doesn’t serve you? What if you let go of something that you might need later?

I have been told I have a tendency to hoard things just a little tiny bit. My husband puts up with it, but I know it can be a bit much sometimes. I do know however, that I am not by any means at a worrying stage! Our floors are clear and nothing is a fire hazard! I’m just not so good at letting go of things that ‘might’ be useful, one day, or are sentimental, and with four kids, I hang on to a lot of memories. I’m like that with my thoughts too. I like to, no, that’s not true, because I don’t actually intend to do it. What I mean is I just hold on to things. I honestly don’t mean to and I don’t want to most of the time. It’s not because I want to remember bad things or hold a grudge or anything like that because I do it with good things too. I just struggle to let things go.

A wise person, who may be reading this (Roger Happy) once said to me, that in the back of my mind was a box. I didn’t intentionally put it there but somehow managed to fill it with all the stuff I couldn’t do or didn’t want to deal with. Gradually as I allowed myself not only to write but also to publish my writing for you to read, I began to work through my feelings and unpack my thoughts from this box. It’s funny because although in some ways it probably made me not exactly relive things, but certainly brought up old feelings and emotions, it has also helped me work through them and put them to bed. I can finally let some things go.

There are things I can’t change. Most I wouldn’t, a few I would without a doubt. In all honesty, I wouldn’t be me without the life I’ve lived. I wouldn’t be so understanding of other people, I wouldn’t be so grateful of everything I have. I’m not perfect, not by a long shot, but I don’t think anyone is. Maybe I don’t actually want to be perfect. It would be quite boring if everyone was!

So I’m working on moving on and leaving my past mistakes and bad memories behind. I’m still a bit muddled, but that’s me. Life is an adventure and for once I’m looking forward to being able to explore it.

Take care,
Claire x

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