My Not So Secret Diary


sober blog, dealing with sobriety Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Dealing with things head on can be tough, but in the long run, it’s far better than hiding from our feelings or drinking them away. For so long I hid, but now, even when things are tricky, they are real. It’s a much better place to be in!


sober blog, stories, share your story with me for my new sober hope book, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
We all have different experiences and different stories in our pasts, but those stories are important as they will mean something to someone else on their journey. Would you like to be involved in my new project? I'm looking for stories of recovery and your journey to sobriety. Or perhaps you've supported someone on their journey? It doesn't have to be something out of the ordinary, I'm looking for real experiences from real people. If you'd like to be part of it, drop me a message or a dm, - I'd love to hear from you!
And thanks to those of you who are already working with me!

Reasons to Start a Sober Journey

@soberme_claire I always looked for a reason to keep drinking because the thought of being sober terrified me. On the otherside, I know there’s no way I’d go back, so I thought I’d share with you a few few of my favourite reasons! 💖 #sober #soberjourney #sobertiktok #sobertok #soberstories #sobriety #soberlife #soberliving #sobercurious #sobernotboring #beach #cornwall #freedom #summer #dryjuly #soberthoughts #worksforme Sunrise - Official Sound Studio" href=""> Sunrise - Official Sound Studio


sober blog, disappointment asda is awful, don't sell alcohol promotion cards, sober is better Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I know those of us that choose not to drink alcohol don’t dominate the world (yet) but, this card makes me angry, and the fact that shops fill their shelves with things like this that glamourise drinking. No, we don’t need gin to make any event special, @asda I am disappointed.


sober blog, connection SoberMe Etsy Shop Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary cards and gifts, handmade by me in Cornwall
Packaging up some more cards and badges today. I really enjoy hearing from the people that buy from me, but then they do say that connection is the opposite of addiction!


sober blog, friends sober family, wild swimming in Cornwall, Bude Sea pool, sea swim, Bodmin Bluetits, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Sharing one of my favourite places with my good friend @shaena_kaseyjay today - it was so good to see you!

It Will Pass

It will pass sober blog, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Everyone has hard moments. Some last for a few seconds, some are unfortunately longer. Just remember, they will pass. Stay strong.

Sports Day

sober blog, sports day Claire and Stanley Hatwell at sports day, Cornwall, family, mum and son, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
It was sports day for my littlest today, and as I sat watching him in the field I got to thinking. Alcohol as we know is entrenched in our lives, from social events to celebrations and everything in between, but for me at least it went even further. When our older children were at primary school alcohol was involved in every school event, in fact I remember drinking PTFA supplied Pimms and lemonade at my last sports day. Every school event endorsed the whole mummy wine culture and at the time I saw nothing wrong with it. Rather, I was pleased as it enabled me. It reinforced my thoughts about drinking and let me continue pretending I was all right, as long as I didn’t look too closely at myself.
Today was different. I’m still getting to know a lot of the parents as Stanley’s only in his first year, but the whole afternoon was relaxed and happy; the kids had fun and so did the parents. There was no hiding behind glasses or drinks, we just enjoyed being. And the best bit was that there was plenty of tea to drink, and not a drop of alcohol.


sober blog, trainers, converse all stars, sober, swimming lessons, launceston, cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Tuesday trainer pic… today I braved the spare seats near the front to be able to watch my son swim in his lesson. I don’t know what I was thinking. Within minutes the crowd had descended and I felt claustrophobic. I leave seats where they are put, but apparently I am in the minority. My gut reaction was to run away. I actually wanted to. It would have been easier to, but my son was swimming and I wanted to be there for him. So I took a deep breath and stayed. Even though two boys decided to reenact a wrestling scene right next to me, and kept banging into me. I rose above.
Peopling is still hard, but I didn’t run away. I consider that a win.


sober blog, make it loud and proud, drop the bottle, claire hatwell, writer and author Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Mistakes, yep, I’ve made a few, but do you know what? Beating ourselves up about them won’t make them go away. So let’s start a fresh with a clean slate today and make it a great day!

Bedtime Reading

sober blog, bedtime reading, holly whitaker, quit like a woman, quit lit, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Bedtime reading - I love a clear mind at bedtime!
This book is good! What are you reading right now?

Thank You

sober blog, Thank you, Etsy shop, SoberMe, sober shop and gifts, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Thank you!!
I don’t post much about my sober shop on here; I know what I’m like when I think someone is trying to sell something, but this comment meant the world to me. It means what I’m doing makes a difference to someone else, and that makes everything worthwhile. Thank you for all the feedback and reviews, it matters more than you know

Monday Morning

sober blog, Monday Morning, in cornwall after the school run, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Monday morning started in a particularly stressful way… kids up late, no fuel in the car, roads really busy and then after school drop off, the road to work was shut. But… whereas once I would have stressed out and lost the plot about all these things that are out of my control, I didn’t. I took a deep breath and got on with it. I’m just about to pick my youngest up now, and I don’t feel stressed or anxious (although I might after the drive home) and I’m not going to go home and drown my feelings with wine, because now, I deal with things head on, rather than hiding. It’s a better place to be and I’m a happier person. I hope you’ve all had a good day?


sober blog, Change, rock, padstow, cornwall, estuary, swimming, kayaking, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I'm not great with change. l never have been. It’s not that l don't want to change or do something new, more that the thought of it scares me. I suppose in a lot of ways it’s the I way I protect myself; my mind is chaotic so by putting things in place to follow, like routines and habits, I feel like I’m helping myself. It’s easier when I know what to expect, although, honestly, sometimes I cope with things that catch me by surprise too, because I have less time to overthink and panic, I just have to deal with it.
The problem with routines is that they can become a coping mechanism, and although it’s okay to live like that for a time, trust me, there will come a day when you have to operate outside of your comfort zone, and that can be terrifying.
I try to push myself a little bit, but also be aware of how I’m feeling so I don’t overdo things. I’m also conscious of thinking about myself, and not trying to compare or keep up with others. We’re all different, and when we realise that and stop trying to achieve the same things, life can be a little easier. I might find the world more overwhelming at times than some people do, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Change is one of my biggest challenges, so that’s what I’m working, little by little. What do you find challenging?


sober blog, flashbacks, blackout, sober diary, blog, claire hatwell, my not so secret recovery
Even now, I still do this.
At least I’m not adding to the bank of memories anymore!
#Repost from @notsosecretlysober

They're just the worst.