My Not So Secret Diary


sober blog, Peopling, people, socialising, garden, cornwall, me, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
This week I have had to do far more than my share of peopling… three kids parties in a week is a lot for anyone! But, you know what? I’ve survived. Yes, it’s been a touch emotional here and there, but it’s been okay. No one hates me, or if they do, they’re being polite and keeping it to themselves, and I feel like I’ve done the right thing as a mum. My kids are aware of my anxiety, but they don’t deserve to be affected by it. By pushing through I’m showing them that they don’t have to run away from things they find hard, and that we can overcome them. It’s easy to hide from things, but I refuse to do that nowadays. Even when it’s hard.
I hope you’ve all had a lovely day?


sober blog, sharing stories for my new book of hope Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Would you like to be involved in my new book?
I'm looking for stories of recovery and your journey to sobriety. Or perhaps you've supported someone on their journey? I'm looking for real experiences from real people.
We all have different experiences and different stories in our pasts, but those stories are important as they will mean something to someone else on their journey.
If you'd like to be part of it, drop me a message or a dm, - I'd love to hear from you!
And thanks to those of you who are already working with me!

The Social Lives of Five Year Olds

sober blog, social lives, five year old, bowling, cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Last night! My five year old has an active social life which is forcing me into situations I wasn’t expecting! I’m exhausted and we still have one more birthday party this week!

Too hot for this!

sober blog, Too hot, running, cornwall, heatwave, hot, sunshine, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
It always seems like a good idea, and then I wonder what I’m doing it for, and then I realise why I do it… but it’s so hot… I’m talking about my morning run of course. Does wonders for my mind when it’s being loud. Might have to take up running in the dark if it gets as hot as they’re predicting though!

Bedtime Reading

sober blog, bedtime reading, bryony gordon, no such thing as normal, book, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Bedtime reading… I’ve loved all of Bryony’s precious books and this one has me hooked so far. What books have caught your attention this week?

Remember this

sober blog, remember this, be kind, sober sayings, soberme, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
If you’re having a tough time, try to remember this… it’s true and things get easier - just be kind to yourselves.

Sober Toolbox

@soberme_claire Getting sober and staying sober is much easier when you put the right things in place to support you. Whatever anyone says, you can’t rely on willpower alone! Here’s what’s in my sober toolbox, how about you share some of your ideas with me too? 💖 .#sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobersunday #sobermum #kidsparty #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration Canyons - Official Sound Studio" href=""> Canyons - Official Sound Studio

Hot Day Drinks

Hot day… school run… these iced drinks are becoming a habit.
sober blog, hot day drinks, mcdonalds, mother and daughter, fiat 500, cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diaryhot day drinks 1

Sobriety is… freedom.

sober blog, sobriety is, grateful, mother and daughter, Katie Hatwell, Volvo XC90, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary, SoberMe
Sobriety is… freedom.
Tonight I am able to drive my daughter to meet her friends for dinner. I didn’t rush to get back for a drink, I was exactly where I needed to be. I even did the journey twice as she forgot her ID and later if she wants a lift home, I will be more than able to do that too, regardless of what time it is.

Feeling happy

We Did It

sober blog, we did it, mum and son, party, kids party, five year old, cornwall, family, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
We did it. It wasn’t too bad. Stanley had fun. I ended up playing with the kids in all the games (kids are definitely less scary than adults). I don’t think anyone hates me. One more sober event ticked off my list!! And now to relax! I do find social situations taxing!
Thanks so much for all your support earlier. It means so much!

The Fear

sober blog, Fear, scared, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary, real feelings, scary emotions, feeling it all, sober.
I woke up with the fear this morning. To be honest, that’s nothing new, but it’s been there all weekend and I didn’t know why. I ran through my usual checklist, no I didn’t drink last night, no I don’t need to be worried about anything in particular, everyone in my family is okay… and then I realised what it is, this afternoon, my five year old is going to a birthday party. To some, that will seem like nothing. It’s not even about me, it’s about him and his friends, but, it’s more than that. I worry about what people think about me, even now. I still haven’t infiltrated the groups of parents successfully at his school, he’s only been there since September. I expect people to think the worst of me, and while I don’t apologise for being me, I do expect people to judge. I write for a local monthly magazine, so anyone can read my thoughts on sobriety, but they don’t know the whole story, and I feel that will make them think the worst of me. Then, I worked something else out, when my other kids were this age, I would have come home after the party to drink wine, and wash away the worries. To be honest, there probably would have been wine at most of the parties i went to. I don’t do that anymore. I’m doing it all on my own, and while I know I’ll be fine, I can’t say I’m looking forward to it. The thing is, I try not to run away anymore, so I’m going to go, and I’m going to do my best. While it’s hard, I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not. I’m going to be me, and if that’s not good enough, then I’m not sure I want friends like that anyway. I know I’m a good mum, so I’m going for him, not for them, and if I have a nice time too, then that’s a bonus.
Feeling all the feelings today, but I’m doing it anyway. I hope you all have a lovely day xx