SoberMe

My Not So Secret Diary

Sober Saturday!

Sober Saturday - people talk about drinking alcohol like it's an impressive skill. the real skill is to not drink and still have a great time. Claire Hatwell. SoberMe. My not so secret recovery. sober blogger

And on that note, have a great Saturday night everyone!!

Yep!

Moderation. Claire Hatwell. SoberMe. My not so secret recovery. sober blogger. for some people it's easier not to drink at all than it is to try and control their drinking.

Happy Places

Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.Claire Hatwell swimming with Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.Compass Jellyfish  Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.Sea Touches Your Soul Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.
So as you’ve probably gathered, I love cold water swimming. I haven’t missed a month in the last couple of years, but normally in the depths of winter, I can’t get my family anywhere near the water, so days like yesterday are brilliant. There is literally nothing like it to turn my worries off. I could have stayed in all day! Look at the colour of the water, we could be in the med!

Reset

The Beach Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.
Claire Hatwell and Stanley Hatwell Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.

The sun, sea and sand are just what I need to reset! Happy

Honesty

Honesty
I try to keep my posts positive, because why would you want to read me whinging? Sometimes though, I’m not nearly so positive as I seem.
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When I was drinking I hid behind the mask I showed the world, and although I don’t hide so much, I’m not great at saying that things aren’t always easy. It’s a hard one to explain, but sometimes I feel like I’m going to be caught out for being the fraud I feel I am. It isn’t something in particular, more that when I feel like this, I don’t feel like I’m that good at anything and that’s when I begin to pick fault… I have a temper that doesn’t come out unless I’m prodded too much, but then resembles a volcano. I’m told I hold a grudge, although I’d say I just like to deal with things rather than sweeping them to one side. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even in the same conversation as other people, because I don’t seem to hear or remember the things that other people do. I’m too sensitive, and I hate that. I can’t let things go, and spiral downwards because of something so stupid as a bad review, when I know and understand that not everyone is going to like what I write. I’m obsessive and anxious. My mind wanders and I focus too much or not at all. Words go onto paper, but I’m not so good at getting them out of my mouth. Sometimes I wonder why other people like me when I don’t like myself very much. I wonder if the wine broke me, because my logical mind and emotional mind don’t seem to match.

I don’t tend to post too much when I’m under a dark cloud as I feel awkward. It’s hard to admit that I feel down when I know I’m lucky, but unfortunately, being told to cheer up doesn’t help. Just as it didn’t help to tell me to stop drinking when I couldn’t. Sometimes it’s good to share, and if I haven’t bored you to tears, thank you for reading. I'm feeling better today, and know if I ride it out I’ll be okay, but sometimes I just want to hibernate. I do bounce back, but I hate feeling so gloomy, and hating the way I feel only adds to my annoyance at myself. I’m going to take some of my own advice now, and be kind to myself. Beating myself up won’t make things any better, but sometimes, it’s easier said than done.
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Take care,
Claire x

Good Morning

Good morning, sober blog, sober sayings inspiration, claire hatwell, author, blogger, game changer
Morning all!
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It’s easy to beat ourselves up about the things we can’t change. I know, I’m pretty good at it too, but the thing is, beating ourselves up won’t change what happened or make us feel any better. What will make a difference is our choices going forward. So today try to be kind to yourself. Try to treat yourself with some of the compassion you save for others. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let them define you. Most of all, have a lovely sober day!
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Florence

Florence Welch, sober, sobriety, my not so secret diarry, sober blog, claire hatwell, author, cornwall, blogger
Oh these words, I could have written them myself! Thank you @florence for being so open!
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#Repost from @asobergirlsguide

"It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I had a problem with drinking because I was one of those drinkers where it was all or nothing. If I enjoy my drinking, I can’t control it and if I control my drinking, I don’t enjoy it.”

Late Nights

sober blog, Stir Fry And McDonalds, dinner late at night with sober treats, Claire Hatwell, My Not So Secret Diary, author in Cornwall
After an unplanned late night tonight I needed a quick dinner. I got the healthy stir fry bit right, but the side order of my chocolate milkshake from McDonalds probably lets me down! I needed a treat, but to be honest, anything is better than alcohol! I am so rock and roll!

Acknowledging

When I began to acknowledge I had a problem with alcohol, I looked for any reason I could to justify it, so I could keep drinking. The thought of giving up completely was just terrifying, but in hindsight, I wish I’d stopped much longer ago. If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, why not try going sober for the summer? You never know, you might never go back! Trust me, I wouldn’t!!
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@soberme_claire When I began to acknowledge I had a problem with alcohol, I looked for any reason I could to justify it, so I could keep drinking. The thought of giving up completely was just terrifying, but in hindsight, I wish I’d stopped much longer ago. If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, why not try going sober for the summer? You never know, you might never go back! Trust me, I wouldn’t!! 💖💖 ..#sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration #sobervibes #overthinking #sobersummer original sound - SoberMe_Claire" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7124794692374022918"> original sound - SoberMe_Claire

Staying Sober

sober blog, Staying Sober is Tough, but so Are you, Claire Hatwell author of My Not So Secret Diary and My Not So Secret Recovery
I’m just going to leave this here for you…

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Destination Sober

sober blog, Destination Sober, Readymoney Bay, Fowey, Sobriety journey, sober evenings, Claire Hatwell, blogger and author of, My Not So Secret Recovery.
Supposedly people are different when they’re drinking. It’s true I suppose, but for me, it wasn’t like an on/off switch that flicked when I drank a glass of wine, it was more like a dimmer switch that never quite got turned off. The more often I drank, the more I wanted to drink, and the more I became someone I didn’t like. I told myself I was okay, because I didn’t drink in the day, and kidded myself I was all right, because I kept up the pretence of showing the world I was achieving everything I tried to. On the outside I was fine, but on the inside, I became less and less me, and more and more someone I didn’t recognise. The hold wine had on me was so strong I felt I had no choice but to shrug off my worries and continue to drink.
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When I finally got sober, I thought the alcohol would wear off, and I’d just become ‘me’ again. I have, but it’s taken far longer than I expected. I suppose that’s the thing though, when you spend so many years drowning out your feelings and emotions, it’s hard to feel them all again. You have to relearn the way you think and feel and react. For instance, I hadn’t realised how insular I’d become, and how many protective barriers I’d put up, but now as my youngest child’s social circle expands, I’m finding mine is too. It’s hard, not horrible, but hard. I find myself exhausted, because it’s all new. The worst part is the feeling afterwards. I can do things, but after they’re done, I panic and over analyse myself, frequently ending up in tears. I remember too the things I’d rather not, it’s easier said than done just to move on, and while I’m trying, it’s a challenge. It’s just the way it’s got to be for a while. Eventually, these things I’m worrying about will come more naturally, and everything will be a little easier.
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Just remember that sobriety is a journey, not a destination. You will get there, you just have to stick at it. Even on the hard days, I don’t regret my decision. The only failure would be to give up.

Barn's Birthday

sober blog, Barn 17th birthday and mum Claire Hatwell wild swimming in cornwall author my not so secret diary
Happy 17th birthday to our lovely boy Barn. Hope you have the best day!
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True

sober blog, claire hatwell, my not so secret recovery, book author, cornwall. Not As they Are
I love this. Who else resonates?
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Into the Water I Go

When I stopped drinking, my mind went crazy. Before, I thought I was a little anxious, but suddenly I found out that was an understatement. Without alcohol numbing my worries I suffered from overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks. I tried new things and I deal with it a little differently now. In fact, I’ve have found cold water swimming makes a huge difference! It calms my mind and soothes my soul, and being out in nature helps massively too!
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What I’d say is don’t rule anything out, who knows what new hobbies you might discover!

@soberme_claire When I stopped drinking, my mind was no longer numbed and I suffered from overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks. I deal with it a little differently now, and have found cold water swimming makes such a difference! It calms my mind and soothes my soul, and being out in nature helps massively too! .#theheatwaveisover #wildswimming #cornwallswimming #bodminmoor #coldwaterswimmer #sober #sobermum #soberjourney #soberlife #sobriety #sobercommunity #soberuk #soberliving #sobermovement #sobermumtribe #sobercurious #soberlifehappylife #sobernation #sobernotboring #sobernotsorry #soberweekend #sobersaturday water - Official Sound Studio" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/water-6586874877469264644"> water - Official Sound Studio