SoberMe

My Not So Secret Diary

Yep!

Moderation. Claire Hatwell. SoberMe. My not so secret recovery. sober blogger. for some people it's easier not to drink at all than it is to try and control their drinking.

Yep!

Moderation. Claire Hatwell. SoberMe. My not so secret recovery. sober blogger. for some people it's easier not to drink at all than it is to try and control their drinking.

Girl Walks Out

Girl Walks Out of a bar, quit lit, but lisa smith, my not so secret recovery by Claire Hatwell, sober blogger from Cornwall
Have you read this? I think it’s actually my new favourite quit-lit book!! I loved the honesty of the author and really identifies with her need to keep up as well as her need to drink. Even know it helps to know I’m not the only one. What are you reading this weekend?

Girl Walks Out

Girl Walks Out of a bar, quit lit, but lisa smith, my not so secret recovery by Claire Hatwell, sober blogger from Cornwall
Have you read this? I think it’s actually my new favourite quit-lit book!! I loved the honesty of the author and really identifies with her need to keep up as well as her need to drink. Even know it helps to know I’m not the only one. What are you reading this weekend?

Sober Saturday!

Sober Saturday - people talk about drinking alcohol like it's an impressive skill. the real skill is to not drink and still have a great time. Claire Hatwell. SoberMe. My not so secret recovery. sober blogger

And on that note, have a great Saturday night everyone!!

Sober Saturday!

Sober Saturday - people talk about drinking alcohol like it's an impressive skill. the real skill is to not drink and still have a great time. Claire Hatwell. SoberMe. My not so secret recovery. sober blogger

And on that note, have a great Saturday night everyone!!

Happy Places

Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.Claire Hatwell swimming with Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.Compass Jellyfish  Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.Sea Touches Your Soul Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.
So as you’ve probably gathered, I love cold water swimming. I haven’t missed a month in the last couple of years, but normally in the depths of winter, I can’t get my family anywhere near the water, so days like yesterday are brilliant. There is literally nothing like it to turn my worries off. I could have stayed in all day! Look at the colour of the water, we could be in the med!

Happy Places

Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.Claire Hatwell swimming with Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.Compass Jellyfish  Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.Sea Touches Your Soul Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.
So as you’ve probably gathered, I love cold water swimming. I haven’t missed a month in the last couple of years, but normally in the depths of winter, I can’t get my family anywhere near the water, so days like yesterday are brilliant. There is literally nothing like it to turn my worries off. I could have stayed in all day! Look at the colour of the water, we could be in the med!

Reset

The Beach Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.
Claire Hatwell and Stanley Hatwell Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.

The sun, sea and sand are just what I need to reset! Happy

Reset

The Beach Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.
Claire Hatwell and Stanley Hatwell Family in the sea in Cornwall, wild swimming, claire hatwell, author of my not so secret diary, sober blogger.

The sun, sea and sand are just what I need to reset! Happy

Honesty

Honesty
I try to keep my posts positive, because why would you want to read me whinging? Sometimes though, I’m not nearly so positive as I seem.
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When I was drinking I hid behind the mask I showed the world, and although I don’t hide so much, I’m not great at saying that things aren’t always easy. It’s a hard one to explain, but sometimes I feel like I’m going to be caught out for being the fraud I feel I am. It isn’t something in particular, more that when I feel like this, I don’t feel like I’m that good at anything and that’s when I begin to pick fault… I have a temper that doesn’t come out unless I’m prodded too much, but then resembles a volcano. I’m told I hold a grudge, although I’d say I just like to deal with things rather than sweeping them to one side. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even in the same conversation as other people, because I don’t seem to hear or remember the things that other people do. I’m too sensitive, and I hate that. I can’t let things go, and spiral downwards because of something so stupid as a bad review, when I know and understand that not everyone is going to like what I write. I’m obsessive and anxious. My mind wanders and I focus too much or not at all. Words go onto paper, but I’m not so good at getting them out of my mouth. Sometimes I wonder why other people like me when I don’t like myself very much. I wonder if the wine broke me, because my logical mind and emotional mind don’t seem to match.

I don’t tend to post too much when I’m under a dark cloud as I feel awkward. It’s hard to admit that I feel down when I know I’m lucky, but unfortunately, being told to cheer up doesn’t help. Just as it didn’t help to tell me to stop drinking when I couldn’t. Sometimes it’s good to share, and if I haven’t bored you to tears, thank you for reading. I'm feeling better today, and know if I ride it out I’ll be okay, but sometimes I just want to hibernate. I do bounce back, but I hate feeling so gloomy, and hating the way I feel only adds to my annoyance at myself. I’m going to take some of my own advice now, and be kind to myself. Beating myself up won’t make things any better, but sometimes, it’s easier said than done.
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Take care,
Claire x

Honesty

Honesty
I try to keep my posts positive, because why would you want to read me whinging? Sometimes though, I’m not nearly so positive as I seem.
.
When I was drinking I hid behind the mask I showed the world, and although I don’t hide so much, I’m not great at saying that things aren’t always easy. It’s a hard one to explain, but sometimes I feel like I’m going to be caught out for being the fraud I feel I am. It isn’t something in particular, more that when I feel like this, I don’t feel like I’m that good at anything and that’s when I begin to pick fault… I have a temper that doesn’t come out unless I’m prodded too much, but then resembles a volcano. I’m told I hold a grudge, although I’d say I just like to deal with things rather than sweeping them to one side. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even in the same conversation as other people, because I don’t seem to hear or remember the things that other people do. I’m too sensitive, and I hate that. I can’t let things go, and spiral downwards because of something so stupid as a bad review, when I know and understand that not everyone is going to like what I write. I’m obsessive and anxious. My mind wanders and I focus too much or not at all. Words go onto paper, but I’m not so good at getting them out of my mouth. Sometimes I wonder why other people like me when I don’t like myself very much. I wonder if the wine broke me, because my logical mind and emotional mind don’t seem to match.

I don’t tend to post too much when I’m under a dark cloud as I feel awkward. It’s hard to admit that I feel down when I know I’m lucky, but unfortunately, being told to cheer up doesn’t help. Just as it didn’t help to tell me to stop drinking when I couldn’t. Sometimes it’s good to share, and if I haven’t bored you to tears, thank you for reading. I'm feeling better today, and know if I ride it out I’ll be okay, but sometimes I just want to hibernate. I do bounce back, but I hate feeling so gloomy, and hating the way I feel only adds to my annoyance at myself. I’m going to take some of my own advice now, and be kind to myself. Beating myself up won’t make things any better, but sometimes, it’s easier said than done.
.
Take care,
Claire x

Good Morning

Good morning, sober blog, sober sayings inspiration, claire hatwell, author, blogger, game changer
Morning all!
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It’s easy to beat ourselves up about the things we can’t change. I know, I’m pretty good at it too, but the thing is, beating ourselves up won’t change what happened or make us feel any better. What will make a difference is our choices going forward. So today try to be kind to yourself. Try to treat yourself with some of the compassion you save for others. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let them define you. Most of all, have a lovely sober day!
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Good Morning

Good morning, sober blog, sober sayings inspiration, claire hatwell, author, blogger, game changer
Morning all!
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It’s easy to beat ourselves up about the things we can’t change. I know, I’m pretty good at it too, but the thing is, beating ourselves up won’t change what happened or make us feel any better. What will make a difference is our choices going forward. So today try to be kind to yourself. Try to treat yourself with some of the compassion you save for others. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let them define you. Most of all, have a lovely sober day!
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Florence

Florence Welch, sober, sobriety, my not so secret diarry, sober blog, claire hatwell, author, cornwall, blogger
Oh these words, I could have written them myself! Thank you @florence for being so open!
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#Repost from @asobergirlsguide

"It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I had a problem with drinking because I was one of those drinkers where it was all or nothing. If I enjoy my drinking, I can’t control it and if I control my drinking, I don’t enjoy it.”

Florence

Florence Welch, sober, sobriety, my not so secret diarry, sober blog, claire hatwell, author, cornwall, blogger
Oh these words, I could have written them myself! Thank you @florence for being so open!
.
#Repost from @asobergirlsguide

"It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I had a problem with drinking because I was one of those drinkers where it was all or nothing. If I enjoy my drinking, I can’t control it and if I control my drinking, I don’t enjoy it.”

Late Nights

sober blog, Stir Fry And McDonalds, dinner late at night with sober treats, Claire Hatwell, My Not So Secret Diary, author in Cornwall
After an unplanned late night tonight I needed a quick dinner. I got the healthy stir fry bit right, but the side order of my chocolate milkshake from McDonalds probably lets me down! I needed a treat, but to be honest, anything is better than alcohol! I am so rock and roll!

Late Nights

sober blog, Stir Fry And McDonalds, dinner late at night with sober treats, Claire Hatwell, My Not So Secret Diary, author in Cornwall
After an unplanned late night tonight I needed a quick dinner. I got the healthy stir fry bit right, but the side order of my chocolate milkshake from McDonalds probably lets me down! I needed a treat, but to be honest, anything is better than alcohol! I am so rock and roll!

Acknowledging

When I began to acknowledge I had a problem with alcohol, I looked for any reason I could to justify it, so I could keep drinking. The thought of giving up completely was just terrifying, but in hindsight, I wish I’d stopped much longer ago. If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, why not try going sober for the summer? You never know, you might never go back! Trust me, I wouldn’t!!
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@soberme_claire When I began to acknowledge I had a problem with alcohol, I looked for any reason I could to justify it, so I could keep drinking. The thought of giving up completely was just terrifying, but in hindsight, I wish I’d stopped much longer ago. If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, why not try going sober for the summer? You never know, you might never go back! Trust me, I wouldn’t!! 💖💖 ..#sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration #sobervibes #overthinking #sobersummer original sound - SoberMe_Claire" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7124794692374022918"> original sound - SoberMe_Claire

Acknowledging

When I began to acknowledge I had a problem with alcohol, I looked for any reason I could to justify it, so I could keep drinking. The thought of giving up completely was just terrifying, but in hindsight, I wish I’d stopped much longer ago. If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, why not try going sober for the summer? You never know, you might never go back! Trust me, I wouldn’t!!
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@soberme_claire When I began to acknowledge I had a problem with alcohol, I looked for any reason I could to justify it, so I could keep drinking. The thought of giving up completely was just terrifying, but in hindsight, I wish I’d stopped much longer ago. If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, why not try going sober for the summer? You never know, you might never go back! Trust me, I wouldn’t!! 💖💖 ..#sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration #sobervibes #overthinking #sobersummer original sound - SoberMe_Claire" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7124794692374022918"> original sound - SoberMe_Claire

Staying Sober

sober blog, Staying Sober is Tough, but so Are you, Claire Hatwell author of My Not So Secret Diary and My Not So Secret Recovery
I’m just going to leave this here for you…

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Staying Sober

sober blog, Staying Sober is Tough, but so Are you, Claire Hatwell author of My Not So Secret Diary and My Not So Secret Recovery
I’m just going to leave this here for you…

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Destination Sober

sober blog, Destination Sober, Readymoney Bay, Fowey, Sobriety journey, sober evenings, Claire Hatwell, blogger and author of, My Not So Secret Recovery.
Supposedly people are different when they’re drinking. It’s true I suppose, but for me, it wasn’t like an on/off switch that flicked when I drank a glass of wine, it was more like a dimmer switch that never quite got turned off. The more often I drank, the more I wanted to drink, and the more I became someone I didn’t like. I told myself I was okay, because I didn’t drink in the day, and kidded myself I was all right, because I kept up the pretence of showing the world I was achieving everything I tried to. On the outside I was fine, but on the inside, I became less and less me, and more and more someone I didn’t recognise. The hold wine had on me was so strong I felt I had no choice but to shrug off my worries and continue to drink.
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When I finally got sober, I thought the alcohol would wear off, and I’d just become ‘me’ again. I have, but it’s taken far longer than I expected. I suppose that’s the thing though, when you spend so many years drowning out your feelings and emotions, it’s hard to feel them all again. You have to relearn the way you think and feel and react. For instance, I hadn’t realised how insular I’d become, and how many protective barriers I’d put up, but now as my youngest child’s social circle expands, I’m finding mine is too. It’s hard, not horrible, but hard. I find myself exhausted, because it’s all new. The worst part is the feeling afterwards. I can do things, but after they’re done, I panic and over analyse myself, frequently ending up in tears. I remember too the things I’d rather not, it’s easier said than done just to move on, and while I’m trying, it’s a challenge. It’s just the way it’s got to be for a while. Eventually, these things I’m worrying about will come more naturally, and everything will be a little easier.
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Just remember that sobriety is a journey, not a destination. You will get there, you just have to stick at it. Even on the hard days, I don’t regret my decision. The only failure would be to give up.

Destination Sober

sober blog, Destination Sober, Readymoney Bay, Fowey, Sobriety journey, sober evenings, Claire Hatwell, blogger and author of, My Not So Secret Recovery.
Supposedly people are different when they’re drinking. It’s true I suppose, but for me, it wasn’t like an on/off switch that flicked when I drank a glass of wine, it was more like a dimmer switch that never quite got turned off. The more often I drank, the more I wanted to drink, and the more I became someone I didn’t like. I told myself I was okay, because I didn’t drink in the day, and kidded myself I was all right, because I kept up the pretence of showing the world I was achieving everything I tried to. On the outside I was fine, but on the inside, I became less and less me, and more and more someone I didn’t recognise. The hold wine had on me was so strong I felt I had no choice but to shrug off my worries and continue to drink.
.
When I finally got sober, I thought the alcohol would wear off, and I’d just become ‘me’ again. I have, but it’s taken far longer than I expected. I suppose that’s the thing though, when you spend so many years drowning out your feelings and emotions, it’s hard to feel them all again. You have to relearn the way you think and feel and react. For instance, I hadn’t realised how insular I’d become, and how many protective barriers I’d put up, but now as my youngest child’s social circle expands, I’m finding mine is too. It’s hard, not horrible, but hard. I find myself exhausted, because it’s all new. The worst part is the feeling afterwards. I can do things, but after they’re done, I panic and over analyse myself, frequently ending up in tears. I remember too the things I’d rather not, it’s easier said than done just to move on, and while I’m trying, it’s a challenge. It’s just the way it’s got to be for a while. Eventually, these things I’m worrying about will come more naturally, and everything will be a little easier.
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Just remember that sobriety is a journey, not a destination. You will get there, you just have to stick at it. Even on the hard days, I don’t regret my decision. The only failure would be to give up.

Barn's Birthday

sober blog, Barn 17th birthday and mum Claire Hatwell wild swimming in cornwall author my not so secret diary
Happy 17th birthday to our lovely boy Barn. Hope you have the best day!
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Barn's Birthday

sober blog, Barn 17th birthday and mum Claire Hatwell wild swimming in cornwall author my not so secret diary
Happy 17th birthday to our lovely boy Barn. Hope you have the best day!
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True

sober blog, claire hatwell, my not so secret recovery, book author, cornwall. Not As they Are
I love this. Who else resonates?
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True

sober blog, claire hatwell, my not so secret recovery, book author, cornwall. Not As they Are
I love this. Who else resonates?
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Into the Water I Go

When I stopped drinking, my mind went crazy. Before, I thought I was a little anxious, but suddenly I found out that was an understatement. Without alcohol numbing my worries I suffered from overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks. I tried new things and I deal with it a little differently now. In fact, I’ve have found cold water swimming makes a huge difference! It calms my mind and soothes my soul, and being out in nature helps massively too!
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What I’d say is don’t rule anything out, who knows what new hobbies you might discover!

@soberme_claire When I stopped drinking, my mind was no longer numbed and I suffered from overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks. I deal with it a little differently now, and have found cold water swimming makes such a difference! It calms my mind and soothes my soul, and being out in nature helps massively too! .#theheatwaveisover #wildswimming #cornwallswimming #bodminmoor #coldwaterswimmer #sober #sobermum #soberjourney #soberlife #sobriety #sobercommunity #soberuk #soberliving #sobermovement #sobermumtribe #sobercurious #soberlifehappylife #sobernation #sobernotboring #sobernotsorry #soberweekend #sobersaturday water - Official Sound Studio" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/water-6586874877469264644"> water - Official Sound Studio

Into the Water I Go

When I stopped drinking, my mind went crazy. Before, I thought I was a little anxious, but suddenly I found out that was an understatement. Without alcohol numbing my worries I suffered from overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks. I tried new things and I deal with it a little differently now. In fact, I’ve have found cold water swimming makes a huge difference! It calms my mind and soothes my soul, and being out in nature helps massively too!
.
What I’d say is don’t rule anything out, who knows what new hobbies you might discover!

@soberme_claire When I stopped drinking, my mind was no longer numbed and I suffered from overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks. I deal with it a little differently now, and have found cold water swimming makes such a difference! It calms my mind and soothes my soul, and being out in nature helps massively too! .#theheatwaveisover #wildswimming #cornwallswimming #bodminmoor #coldwaterswimmer #sober #sobermum #soberjourney #soberlife #sobriety #sobercommunity #soberuk #soberliving #sobermovement #sobermumtribe #sobercurious #soberlifehappylife #sobernation #sobernotboring #sobernotsorry #soberweekend #sobersaturday water - Official Sound Studio" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/water-6586874877469264644"> water - Official Sound Studio

Wild Swimming

sober blog, Wild Swimming in cornwall, Minions, Bodmin Moor, Bodmin Blue Tits, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Misty on the moor today, and the water feels cooler again. Is it winter already?

Wild Swimming

sober blog, Wild Swimming in cornwall, Minions, Bodmin Moor, Bodmin Blue Tits, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Misty on the moor today, and the water feels cooler again. Is it winter already?

Alcohol Free and Fabulous

sober blog, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary shop local in Launceston wit alcholol free drinks at COFO
Popped into town for a bit of lunch today; check out the amazing range of alcohol free options @cofo_cornishfocaccia has! Will definitely be popping back - plus the fact that my lunch was amazing!

Alcohol Free and Fabulous

sober blog, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary shop local in Launceston wit alcholol free drinks at COFO
Popped into town for a bit of lunch today; check out the amazing range of alcohol free options @cofo_cornishfocaccia has! Will definitely be popping back - plus the fact that my lunch was amazing!

London Landmarks

sober blog, London Landmarks Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I honestly was going to enter the @londonlandmarkshalf right until they sent me an email offering me a free glass of prosecco as an ‘incentive’ - I’m over supporting alcohol at events like that, and to be honest, the last thing anyone wants after running 13.1 miles is alcohol!

London Landmarks

sober blog, London Landmarks Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I honestly was going to enter the @londonlandmarkshalf right until they sent me an email offering me a free glass of prosecco as an ‘incentive’ - I’m over supporting alcohol at events like that, and to be honest, the last thing anyone wants after running 13.1 miles is alcohol!

You Are Strong

sober blog, Remember Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
To anyone that needs to hear this right now, you are strong. You can do this. Don’t look too far forward, just deal with this moment
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Repost from @drop_the_bottle_

When we have a craving to drink, our brain will come up with all sorts of reasons to justify having a drink.
Our brain will literally lie to us when we want something bad enough.
Play the tape forward.
What will really happen if you have a drink?
Think about all the negative consequences and remember why you wanted to stop in the first place.
PC: @faithfullysober

You Are Strong

sober blog, Remember Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
To anyone that needs to hear this right now, you are strong. You can do this. Don’t look too far forward, just deal with this moment
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Repost from @drop_the_bottle_

When we have a craving to drink, our brain will come up with all sorts of reasons to justify having a drink.
Our brain will literally lie to us when we want something bad enough.
Play the tape forward.
What will really happen if you have a drink?
Think about all the negative consequences and remember why you wanted to stop in the first place.
PC: @faithfullysober

Hey

Hey!
Just thought I'd share my books with you all, have you read either of these?

@soberme_claire Are you in need of some sober inspiration? Have you read my books? 💖 Both are available on Amazon and through all good bookshops! 💖 #books #soberbooks #sobriety #soberjourney #soberinspiration #soberlife #soberaf #sobertiktok #sobertok #sobercurious #soberliving #sobermum #soberauthor #authorsoftiktok live - Official Sound Studio" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/live-6662607336600767234"> live - Official Sound Studio

Hey

Hey!
Just thought I'd share my books with you all, have you read either of these?

@soberme_claire Are you in need of some sober inspiration? Have you read my books? 💖 Both are available on Amazon and through all good bookshops! 💖 #books #soberbooks #sobriety #soberjourney #soberinspiration #soberlife #soberaf #sobertiktok #sobertok #sobercurious #soberliving #sobermum #soberauthor #authorsoftiktok live - Official Sound Studio" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/live-6662607336600767234"> live - Official Sound Studio

What Do You Think?

sober blog, Alcohol is Overrated Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
If you’re just beginning your journey, you’re going to have to trust us on this, but honestly, it’s so true!
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#Repost from @sobahsistahs

Alcohol is put up on a pedestal like it’s this magic liquid. You would think it was healthy, would solve your problems, make you look younger. When it does the opposite.
But the way it is used in our culture it’s as if nobody talks about that. It’s the elephant in the room.

What Do You Think?

sober blog, Alcohol is Overrated Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
If you’re just beginning your journey, you’re going to have to trust us on this, but honestly, it’s so true!
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#Repost from @sobahsistahs

Alcohol is put up on a pedestal like it’s this magic liquid. You would think it was healthy, would solve your problems, make you look younger. When it does the opposite.
But the way it is used in our culture it’s as if nobody talks about that. It’s the elephant in the room.

The One Rule I Live By

sober blog, If One is never enough, have none, SoberMe Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
The one rule I live by
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The One Rule I Live By

sober blog, If One is never enough, have none, SoberMe Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
The one rule I live by
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Summer Sunshine

sober blog, Summer Sunshine, Launceston Life Magazine, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Alcohol is often portrayed as a reward, something to relax with after a long day, and while that may be true, it has a lot of other effects too, some which aren’t nearly as nice. Moving away from drinking alcohol can be difficult; we can feel we’re missing out, mainly due to the perceived romantic association that it creates a good time. It might seem we need it to produce that image, but in reality, it’s what we’re doing and who we’re with that makes a good time. Alcohol doesn’t add anything to that.
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One of the hardest things for me was getting over the idea of drinking. Hearing about a social event or driving past a beer garden was difficult; I imagined everyone enjoying themselves and felt I couldn’t. Now, a good time doesn’t include alcohol because for me, like many, the idea and the reality don’t align. I’d be chasing a feeling I couldn’t reach, where one glass isn’t enough. Rethinking and relearning are tricky, but not impossible. Now, more than ever, there are so many alternatives available which give us the opportunity to relax and unwind with something grown up or special, that won’t lead us to say something we shouldn’t or leave us waking up with a headache.
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Finding an alcohol free option is quite a refreshing alternative, mainly because you can get the same enjoyment, without the side effects, and there are so many available now, there is literally something for everyone. Personally, I steer clear of alcohol free wines as they are a bit of a reminder of times gone by, but some of the botanical gins on offer are another story. If you’re thinking about cutting down or avoiding alcohol for any reason, summer BBQ’s and social gatherings don’t need to be avoided. Many of the options, especially the alcohol free beers, don’t look any different to the traditional variety, so no one would even have to know! So why not, when you can have a drink without getting a sore head or saying something you come to regret!
I wrote this piece originally for
Launceston Life - but I wanted to share it with you all too.
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Summer Sunshine

sober blog, Summer Sunshine, Launceston Life Magazine, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Alcohol is often portrayed as a reward, something to relax with after a long day, and while that may be true, it has a lot of other effects too, some which aren’t nearly as nice. Moving away from drinking alcohol can be difficult; we can feel we’re missing out, mainly due to the perceived romantic association that it creates a good time. It might seem we need it to produce that image, but in reality, it’s what we’re doing and who we’re with that makes a good time. Alcohol doesn’t add anything to that.
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One of the hardest things for me was getting over the idea of drinking. Hearing about a social event or driving past a beer garden was difficult; I imagined everyone enjoying themselves and felt I couldn’t. Now, a good time doesn’t include alcohol because for me, like many, the idea and the reality don’t align. I’d be chasing a feeling I couldn’t reach, where one glass isn’t enough. Rethinking and relearning are tricky, but not impossible. Now, more than ever, there are so many alternatives available which give us the opportunity to relax and unwind with something grown up or special, that won’t lead us to say something we shouldn’t or leave us waking up with a headache.
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Finding an alcohol free option is quite a refreshing alternative, mainly because you can get the same enjoyment, without the side effects, and there are so many available now, there is literally something for everyone. Personally, I steer clear of alcohol free wines as they are a bit of a reminder of times gone by, but some of the botanical gins on offer are another story. If you’re thinking about cutting down or avoiding alcohol for any reason, summer BBQ’s and social gatherings don’t need to be avoided. Many of the options, especially the alcohol free beers, don’t look any different to the traditional variety, so no one would even have to know! So why not, when you can have a drink without getting a sore head or saying something you come to regret!
I wrote this piece originally for
Launceston Life - but I wanted to share it with you all too.
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Reasons to Start a Sober Journey

@soberme_claire I always looked for a reason to keep drinking because the thought of being sober terrified me. On the otherside, I know there’s no way I’d go back, so I thought I’d share with you a few few of my favourite reasons! 💖 #sober #soberjourney #sobertiktok #sobertok #soberstories #sobriety #soberlife #soberliving #sobercurious #sobernotboring #beach #cornwall #freedom #summer #dryjuly #soberthoughts #worksforme Sunrise - Official Sound Studio" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Sunrise-6618871733141113604"> Sunrise - Official Sound Studio

Reasons to Start a Sober Journey

@soberme_claire I always looked for a reason to keep drinking because the thought of being sober terrified me. On the otherside, I know there’s no way I’d go back, so I thought I’d share with you a few few of my favourite reasons! 💖 #sober #soberjourney #sobertiktok #sobertok #soberstories #sobriety #soberlife #soberliving #sobercurious #sobernotboring #beach #cornwall #freedom #summer #dryjuly #soberthoughts #worksforme Sunrise - Official Sound Studio" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Sunrise-6618871733141113604"> Sunrise - Official Sound Studio

Sober Toolbox

@soberme_claire Getting sober and staying sober is much easier when you put the right things in place to support you. Whatever anyone says, you can’t rely on willpower alone! Here’s what’s in my sober toolbox, how about you share some of your ideas with me too? 💖 .#sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobersunday #sobermum #kidsparty #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration Canyons - Official Sound Studio" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Canyons-6681198633301314311"> Canyons - Official Sound Studio

Sober Toolbox

@soberme_claire Getting sober and staying sober is much easier when you put the right things in place to support you. Whatever anyone says, you can’t rely on willpower alone! Here’s what’s in my sober toolbox, how about you share some of your ideas with me too? 💖 .#sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobersunday #sobermum #kidsparty #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration Canyons - Official Sound Studio" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Canyons-6681198633301314311"> Canyons - Official Sound Studio

My Favourite Things About A Sober Weekend

@soberme_claire #question from @soberme_claire I literally thought sobriety meant the end of the world as I knew it. I couldn’t begin to think what a sober life looked like. I didn’t know how I’d live and how I’d cope missing out on all the ‘normal’ things… now I can honestly say that before I stopped drinking, I was missing out on life. Now I get to enjoy every minute of it, the good bits and the not so good bits! Here’s some of the small reasons my weekends will always stay sober now..#sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobersunday #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration #soberweekend #sobervibes original sound - SoberMe_Claire" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7121712503163554565"> original sound - SoberMe_Claire

My Favourite Things About A Sober Weekend

@soberme_claire #question from @soberme_claire I literally thought sobriety meant the end of the world as I knew it. I couldn’t begin to think what a sober life looked like. I didn’t know how I’d live and how I’d cope missing out on all the ‘normal’ things… now I can honestly say that before I stopped drinking, I was missing out on life. Now I get to enjoy every minute of it, the good bits and the not so good bits! Here’s some of the small reasons my weekends will always stay sober now..#sober #soberlife #sobercurious #soberaf #soberliving #sobersunday #sobermum #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #sobernation #sobercommunity #sobertribe #soberjourney #soberthinking #sobermotivation #soberisbetter #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #sobrietyisbeautiful #anxiety #copingstrategies #soberstories #sharing #soberinspiration #soberweekend #sobervibes original sound - SoberMe_Claire" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7121712503163554565"> original sound - SoberMe_Claire

Involvement

sober blog, sharing stories for my new book of hope Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Would you like to be involved in my new book?
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I'm looking for stories of recovery and your journey to sobriety. Or perhaps you've supported someone on their journey? I'm looking for real experiences from real people.
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We all have different experiences and different stories in our pasts, but those stories are important as they will mean something to someone else on their journey.
.
If you'd like to be part of it, drop me a message or a dm, claire@mynotsosecretdiary.co.uk - I'd love to hear from you!
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And thanks to those of you who are already working with me!
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Involvement

sober blog, sharing stories for my new book of hope Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Would you like to be involved in my new book?
.
I'm looking for stories of recovery and your journey to sobriety. Or perhaps you've supported someone on their journey? I'm looking for real experiences from real people.
.
We all have different experiences and different stories in our pasts, but those stories are important as they will mean something to someone else on their journey.
.
If you'd like to be part of it, drop me a message or a dm, claire@mynotsosecretdiary.co.uk - I'd love to hear from you!
1f642
And thanks to those of you who are already working with me!
2764

Peopling

sober blog, Peopling, people, socialising, garden, cornwall, me, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
This week I have had to do far more than my share of peopling… three kids parties in a week is a lot for anyone! But, you know what? I’ve survived. Yes, it’s been a touch emotional here and there, but it’s been okay. No one hates me, or if they do, they’re being polite and keeping it to themselves, and I feel like I’ve done the right thing as a mum. My kids are aware of my anxiety, but they don’t deserve to be affected by it. By pushing through I’m showing them that they don’t have to run away from things they find hard, and that we can overcome them. It’s easy to hide from things, but I refuse to do that nowadays. Even when it’s hard.
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I hope you’ve all had a lovely day?
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Peopling

sober blog, Peopling, people, socialising, garden, cornwall, me, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
This week I have had to do far more than my share of peopling… three kids parties in a week is a lot for anyone! But, you know what? I’ve survived. Yes, it’s been a touch emotional here and there, but it’s been okay. No one hates me, or if they do, they’re being polite and keeping it to themselves, and I feel like I’ve done the right thing as a mum. My kids are aware of my anxiety, but they don’t deserve to be affected by it. By pushing through I’m showing them that they don’t have to run away from things they find hard, and that we can overcome them. It’s easy to hide from things, but I refuse to do that nowadays. Even when it’s hard.
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I hope you’ve all had a lovely day?
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Wine Bottles

sober blog, Wine Bottles, SoberMe, garden, Cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I was given a bottle of wine the other day as a present. It was a really kind thought, and the person who gave it to me had no idea about my story, or the fact that I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in 5 years and ten months (not that I’m counting). It wasn’t the present itself so much that surprised me, but actually my reaction to it. The bottle didn’t bother me at all while it was in the gift bag, but then I took it out, and held it just for a moment as I was going to give it to someone else who would make better use of it. Just for a second as I held it, I wondered if it was possible that I was fixed. I wondered if I could have a drink. Just the one you know, because surely now, after this long I could moderate? And of course, there was the idea that I was missing out by not drinking, that somehow I was being rude or ungrateful... I put the bottle down quickly, because, no, I can’t moderate, and no, one glass would not be enough. Once it was out of my hand I was fine again, because I know, I don’t actually want to drink. Afterwards I realised that I haven’t held a bottle of ‘real’ wine in years, so I suppose that alone would be a trigger. I just wasn’t expecting it, but it’s like I’ve always said, getting complacent about your sobriety is when it’s going to jump up and bite you on the arse. Addiction is always waiting.
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Honestly though, I don’t miss drinking. Yes, that bottle triggered a thought, but my reality wouldn’t have matched up to the dream my brain was trying to suggest, and I know as clear as anything, that I do not want to go down that road again.
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Just to be clear, I can drink, I’m allowed to, but I don’t want to, and that choice makes me stronger. Remember that if you’re having a wobbly moment. It’s okay to question yourself, just don’t drink. You’ll not regret that choice in the long run.

Wine Bottles

sober blog, Wine Bottles, SoberMe, garden, Cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I was given a bottle of wine the other day as a present. It was a really kind thought, and the person who gave it to me had no idea about my story, or the fact that I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in 5 years and ten months (not that I’m counting). It wasn’t the present itself so much that surprised me, but actually my reaction to it. The bottle didn’t bother me at all while it was in the gift bag, but then I took it out, and held it just for a moment as I was going to give it to someone else who would make better use of it. Just for a second as I held it, I wondered if it was possible that I was fixed. I wondered if I could have a drink. Just the one you know, because surely now, after this long I could moderate? And of course, there was the idea that I was missing out by not drinking, that somehow I was being rude or ungrateful... I put the bottle down quickly, because, no, I can’t moderate, and no, one glass would not be enough. Once it was out of my hand I was fine again, because I know, I don’t actually want to drink. Afterwards I realised that I haven’t held a bottle of ‘real’ wine in years, so I suppose that alone would be a trigger. I just wasn’t expecting it, but it’s like I’ve always said, getting complacent about your sobriety is when it’s going to jump up and bite you on the arse. Addiction is always waiting.
.
Honestly though, I don’t miss drinking. Yes, that bottle triggered a thought, but my reality wouldn’t have matched up to the dream my brain was trying to suggest, and I know as clear as anything, that I do not want to go down that road again.
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Just to be clear, I can drink, I’m allowed to, but I don’t want to, and that choice makes me stronger. Remember that if you’re having a wobbly moment. It’s okay to question yourself, just don’t drink. You’ll not regret that choice in the long run.

Hot Weather, Nice Drinks

sober blog, Alcohol Free drinks by SoberMe Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Hot days mean nice new drinks, ones that don’t affect my mood or give me a hangover! This one is particularly yummy and smells delicious!

Hot Weather, Nice Drinks

sober blog, Alcohol Free drinks by SoberMe Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Hot days mean nice new drinks, ones that don’t affect my mood or give me a hangover! This one is particularly yummy and smells delicious!

I love this saying!

sober blog, Sober Sayings by SoberMe Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I love this saying!!

I love this saying!

sober blog, Sober Sayings by SoberMe Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I love this saying!!

The Social Lives of Five Year Olds

sober blog, social lives, five year old, bowling, cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Last night! My five year old has an active social life which is forcing me into situations I wasn’t expecting! I’m exhausted and we still have one more birthday party this week!

The Social Lives of Five Year Olds

sober blog, social lives, five year old, bowling, cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Last night! My five year old has an active social life which is forcing me into situations I wasn’t expecting! I’m exhausted and we still have one more birthday party this week!

Too hot for this!

sober blog, Too hot, running, cornwall, heatwave, hot, sunshine, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
It always seems like a good idea, and then I wonder what I’m doing it for, and then I realise why I do it… but it’s so hot… I’m talking about my morning run of course. Does wonders for my mind when it’s being loud. Might have to take up running in the dark if it gets as hot as they’re predicting though!
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Too hot for this!

sober blog, Too hot, running, cornwall, heatwave, hot, sunshine, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
It always seems like a good idea, and then I wonder what I’m doing it for, and then I realise why I do it… but it’s so hot… I’m talking about my morning run of course. Does wonders for my mind when it’s being loud. Might have to take up running in the dark if it gets as hot as they’re predicting though!
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Dealing

sober blog, dealing with sobriety Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Dealing with things head on can be tough, but in the long run, it’s far better than hiding from our feelings or drinking them away. For so long I hid, but now, even when things are tricky, they are real. It’s a much better place to be in!

Dealing

sober blog, dealing with sobriety Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Dealing with things head on can be tough, but in the long run, it’s far better than hiding from our feelings or drinking them away. For so long I hid, but now, even when things are tricky, they are real. It’s a much better place to be in!

We Did It

sober blog, we did it, mum and son, party, kids party, five year old, cornwall, family, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
We did it. It wasn’t too bad. Stanley had fun. I ended up playing with the kids in all the games (kids are definitely less scary than adults). I don’t think anyone hates me. One more sober event ticked off my list!! And now to relax! I do find social situations taxing!
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Thanks so much for all your support earlier. It means so much!

We Did It

sober blog, we did it, mum and son, party, kids party, five year old, cornwall, family, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
We did it. It wasn’t too bad. Stanley had fun. I ended up playing with the kids in all the games (kids are definitely less scary than adults). I don’t think anyone hates me. One more sober event ticked off my list!! And now to relax! I do find social situations taxing!
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Thanks so much for all your support earlier. It means so much!

Sobriety is… freedom.

sober blog, sobriety is, grateful, mother and daughter, Katie Hatwell, Volvo XC90, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary, SoberMe
Sobriety is… freedom.
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Tonight I am able to drive my daughter to meet her friends for dinner. I didn’t rush to get back for a drink, I was exactly where I needed to be. I even did the journey twice as she forgot her ID and later if she wants a lift home, I will be more than able to do that too, regardless of what time it is.

Feeling happy
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Sobriety is… freedom.

sober blog, sobriety is, grateful, mother and daughter, Katie Hatwell, Volvo XC90, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary, SoberMe
Sobriety is… freedom.
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Tonight I am able to drive my daughter to meet her friends for dinner. I didn’t rush to get back for a drink, I was exactly where I needed to be. I even did the journey twice as she forgot her ID and later if she wants a lift home, I will be more than able to do that too, regardless of what time it is.

Feeling happy
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Bedtime Reading

sober blog, bedtime reading, bryony gordon, no such thing as normal, book, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Bedtime reading… I’ve loved all of Bryony’s precious books and this one has me hooked so far. What books have caught your attention this week?

Bedtime Reading

sober blog, bedtime reading, bryony gordon, no such thing as normal, book, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Bedtime reading… I’ve loved all of Bryony’s precious books and this one has me hooked so far. What books have caught your attention this week?

Remember this

sober blog, remember this, be kind, sober sayings, soberme, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
If you’re having a tough time, try to remember this… it’s true and things get easier - just be kind to yourselves.

Remember this

sober blog, remember this, be kind, sober sayings, soberme, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
If you’re having a tough time, try to remember this… it’s true and things get easier - just be kind to yourselves.

Tuesday

sober blog, trainers, converse all stars, sober, swimming lessons, launceston, cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Tuesday trainer pic… today I braved the spare seats near the front to be able to watch my son swim in his lesson. I don’t know what I was thinking. Within minutes the crowd had descended and I felt claustrophobic. I leave seats where they are put, but apparently I am in the minority. My gut reaction was to run away. I actually wanted to. It would have been easier to, but my son was swimming and I wanted to be there for him. So I took a deep breath and stayed. Even though two boys decided to reenact a wrestling scene right next to me, and kept banging into me. I rose above.
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Peopling is still hard, but I didn’t run away. I consider that a win.

Tuesday

sober blog, trainers, converse all stars, sober, swimming lessons, launceston, cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Tuesday trainer pic… today I braved the spare seats near the front to be able to watch my son swim in his lesson. I don’t know what I was thinking. Within minutes the crowd had descended and I felt claustrophobic. I leave seats where they are put, but apparently I am in the minority. My gut reaction was to run away. I actually wanted to. It would have been easier to, but my son was swimming and I wanted to be there for him. So I took a deep breath and stayed. Even though two boys decided to reenact a wrestling scene right next to me, and kept banging into me. I rose above.
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Peopling is still hard, but I didn’t run away. I consider that a win.

Friends

sober blog, friends sober family, wild swimming in Cornwall, Bude Sea pool, sea swim, Bodmin Bluetits, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Sharing one of my favourite places with my good friend @shaena_kaseyjay today - it was so good to see you!

Friends

sober blog, friends sober family, wild swimming in Cornwall, Bude Sea pool, sea swim, Bodmin Bluetits, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Sharing one of my favourite places with my good friend @shaena_kaseyjay today - it was so good to see you!

Mistakes

sober blog, make it loud and proud, drop the bottle, claire hatwell, writer and author Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Mistakes, yep, I’ve made a few, but do you know what? Beating ourselves up about them won’t make them go away. So let’s start a fresh with a clean slate today and make it a great day!

Mistakes

sober blog, make it loud and proud, drop the bottle, claire hatwell, writer and author Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Mistakes, yep, I’ve made a few, but do you know what? Beating ourselves up about them won’t make them go away. So let’s start a fresh with a clean slate today and make it a great day!

Connection

sober blog, connection SoberMe Etsy Shop Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary cards and gifts, handmade by me in Cornwall
Packaging up some more cards and badges today. I really enjoy hearing from the people that buy from me, but then they do say that connection is the opposite of addiction!

Connection

sober blog, connection SoberMe Etsy Shop Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary cards and gifts, handmade by me in Cornwall
Packaging up some more cards and badges today. I really enjoy hearing from the people that buy from me, but then they do say that connection is the opposite of addiction!

Sharing

sober blog, stories, share your story with me for my new sober hope book, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
We all have different experiences and different stories in our pasts, but those stories are important as they will mean something to someone else on their journey. Would you like to be involved in my new project? I'm looking for stories of recovery and your journey to sobriety. Or perhaps you've supported someone on their journey? It doesn't have to be something out of the ordinary, I'm looking for real experiences from real people. If you'd like to be part of it, drop me a message or a dm, claire@mynotsosecretdiary.co.uk - I'd love to hear from you!
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And thanks to those of you who are already working with me!
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Sharing

sober blog, stories, share your story with me for my new sober hope book, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
We all have different experiences and different stories in our pasts, but those stories are important as they will mean something to someone else on their journey. Would you like to be involved in my new project? I'm looking for stories of recovery and your journey to sobriety. Or perhaps you've supported someone on their journey? It doesn't have to be something out of the ordinary, I'm looking for real experiences from real people. If you'd like to be part of it, drop me a message or a dm, claire@mynotsosecretdiary.co.uk - I'd love to hear from you!
1f642
And thanks to those of you who are already working with me!
2764

It Will Pass

It will pass sober blog, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Everyone has hard moments. Some last for a few seconds, some are unfortunately longer. Just remember, they will pass. Stay strong.

It Will Pass

It will pass sober blog, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Everyone has hard moments. Some last for a few seconds, some are unfortunately longer. Just remember, they will pass. Stay strong.

Disappointed

sober blog, disappointment asda is awful, don't sell alcohol promotion cards, sober is better Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I know those of us that choose not to drink alcohol don’t dominate the world (yet) but, this card makes me angry, and the fact that shops fill their shelves with things like this that glamourise drinking. No, we don’t need gin to make any event special, @asda I am disappointed.

Disappointed

sober blog, disappointment asda is awful, don't sell alcohol promotion cards, sober is better Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I know those of us that choose not to drink alcohol don’t dominate the world (yet) but, this card makes me angry, and the fact that shops fill their shelves with things like this that glamourise drinking. No, we don’t need gin to make any event special, @asda I am disappointed.

Sports Day

sober blog, sports day Claire and Stanley Hatwell at sports day, Cornwall, family, mum and son, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
It was sports day for my littlest today, and as I sat watching him in the field I got to thinking. Alcohol as we know is entrenched in our lives, from social events to celebrations and everything in between, but for me at least it went even further. When our older children were at primary school alcohol was involved in every school event, in fact I remember drinking PTFA supplied Pimms and lemonade at my last sports day. Every school event endorsed the whole mummy wine culture and at the time I saw nothing wrong with it. Rather, I was pleased as it enabled me. It reinforced my thoughts about drinking and let me continue pretending I was all right, as long as I didn’t look too closely at myself.
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Today was different. I’m still getting to know a lot of the parents as Stanley’s only in his first year, but the whole afternoon was relaxed and happy; the kids had fun and so did the parents. There was no hiding behind glasses or drinks, we just enjoyed being. And the best bit was that there was plenty of tea to drink, and not a drop of alcohol.

Sports Day

sober blog, sports day Claire and Stanley Hatwell at sports day, Cornwall, family, mum and son, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
It was sports day for my littlest today, and as I sat watching him in the field I got to thinking. Alcohol as we know is entrenched in our lives, from social events to celebrations and everything in between, but for me at least it went even further. When our older children were at primary school alcohol was involved in every school event, in fact I remember drinking PTFA supplied Pimms and lemonade at my last sports day. Every school event endorsed the whole mummy wine culture and at the time I saw nothing wrong with it. Rather, I was pleased as it enabled me. It reinforced my thoughts about drinking and let me continue pretending I was all right, as long as I didn’t look too closely at myself.
.
Today was different. I’m still getting to know a lot of the parents as Stanley’s only in his first year, but the whole afternoon was relaxed and happy; the kids had fun and so did the parents. There was no hiding behind glasses or drinks, we just enjoyed being. And the best bit was that there was plenty of tea to drink, and not a drop of alcohol.

The Fear

sober blog, Fear, scared, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary, real feelings, scary emotions, feeling it all, sober.
I woke up with the fear this morning. To be honest, that’s nothing new, but it’s been there all weekend and I didn’t know why. I ran through my usual checklist, no I didn’t drink last night, no I don’t need to be worried about anything in particular, everyone in my family is okay… and then I realised what it is, this afternoon, my five year old is going to a birthday party. To some, that will seem like nothing. It’s not even about me, it’s about him and his friends, but, it’s more than that. I worry about what people think about me, even now. I still haven’t infiltrated the groups of parents successfully at his school, he’s only been there since September. I expect people to think the worst of me, and while I don’t apologise for being me, I do expect people to judge. I write for a local monthly magazine, so anyone can read my thoughts on sobriety, but they don’t know the whole story, and I feel that will make them think the worst of me. Then, I worked something else out, when my other kids were this age, I would have come home after the party to drink wine, and wash away the worries. To be honest, there probably would have been wine at most of the parties i went to. I don’t do that anymore. I’m doing it all on my own, and while I know I’ll be fine, I can’t say I’m looking forward to it. The thing is, I try not to run away anymore, so I’m going to go, and I’m going to do my best. While it’s hard, I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not. I’m going to be me, and if that’s not good enough, then I’m not sure I want friends like that anyway. I know I’m a good mum, so I’m going for him, not for them, and if I have a nice time too, then that’s a bonus.
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Feeling all the feelings today, but I’m doing it anyway. I hope you all have a lovely day xx

The Fear

sober blog, Fear, scared, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary, real feelings, scary emotions, feeling it all, sober.
I woke up with the fear this morning. To be honest, that’s nothing new, but it’s been there all weekend and I didn’t know why. I ran through my usual checklist, no I didn’t drink last night, no I don’t need to be worried about anything in particular, everyone in my family is okay… and then I realised what it is, this afternoon, my five year old is going to a birthday party. To some, that will seem like nothing. It’s not even about me, it’s about him and his friends, but, it’s more than that. I worry about what people think about me, even now. I still haven’t infiltrated the groups of parents successfully at his school, he’s only been there since September. I expect people to think the worst of me, and while I don’t apologise for being me, I do expect people to judge. I write for a local monthly magazine, so anyone can read my thoughts on sobriety, but they don’t know the whole story, and I feel that will make them think the worst of me. Then, I worked something else out, when my other kids were this age, I would have come home after the party to drink wine, and wash away the worries. To be honest, there probably would have been wine at most of the parties i went to. I don’t do that anymore. I’m doing it all on my own, and while I know I’ll be fine, I can’t say I’m looking forward to it. The thing is, I try not to run away anymore, so I’m going to go, and I’m going to do my best. While it’s hard, I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not. I’m going to be me, and if that’s not good enough, then I’m not sure I want friends like that anyway. I know I’m a good mum, so I’m going for him, not for them, and if I have a nice time too, then that’s a bonus.
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Feeling all the feelings today, but I’m doing it anyway. I hope you all have a lovely day xx

Bedtime Reading

sober blog, bedtime reading, holly whitaker, quit like a woman, quit lit, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Bedtime reading - I love a clear mind at bedtime!
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This book is good! What are you reading right now?

Bedtime Reading

sober blog, bedtime reading, holly whitaker, quit like a woman, quit lit, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Bedtime reading - I love a clear mind at bedtime!
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This book is good! What are you reading right now?

Thank You

sober blog, Thank you, Etsy shop, SoberMe, sober shop and gifts, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Thank you!!
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I don’t post much about my sober shop on here; I know what I’m like when I think someone is trying to sell something, but this comment meant the world to me. It means what I’m doing makes a difference to someone else, and that makes everything worthwhile. Thank you for all the feedback and reviews, it matters more than you know

Thank You

sober blog, Thank you, Etsy shop, SoberMe, sober shop and gifts, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Thank you!!
.
I don’t post much about my sober shop on here; I know what I’m like when I think someone is trying to sell something, but this comment meant the world to me. It means what I’m doing makes a difference to someone else, and that makes everything worthwhile. Thank you for all the feedback and reviews, it matters more than you know

Cold Water

sober blog, Bude Pool, sea pool, swimming, wild, cold water, bodmin bluetits, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary, beach, cornwall
I enjoyed a beautiful swim this afternoon!
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Wild swimming has become one of my favourite ways to clear my mind. I was feeling properly scatty and all over the place this morning, but there’s truly nothing like it, and it’s much better for me than numbing everything out with wine was!

Cold Water

sober blog, Bude Pool, sea pool, swimming, wild, cold water, bodmin bluetits, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary, beach, cornwall
I enjoyed a beautiful swim this afternoon!
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Wild swimming has become one of my favourite ways to clear my mind. I was feeling properly scatty and all over the place this morning, but there’s truly nothing like it, and it’s much better for me than numbing everything out with wine was!

Reminder

Sobriety sober blog, claire hatwell
A little reminder for us all. Saturday evenings used to be a time I could guarantee I’d not need an excuse to have a drink. I’ve gained so much freedom in my sobriety, that now I can’t imagine it any other way! We don’t need alcohol to make out lives any better. Have a great evening everyone!

Reminder

Sobriety sober blog, claire hatwell
A little reminder for us all. Saturday evenings used to be a time I could guarantee I’d not need an excuse to have a drink. I’ve gained so much freedom in my sobriety, that now I can’t imagine it any other way! We don’t need alcohol to make out lives any better. Have a great evening everyone!

Change

sober blog, Change, rock, padstow, cornwall, estuary, swimming, kayaking, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I'm not great with change. l never have been. It’s not that l don't want to change or do something new, more that the thought of it scares me. I suppose in a lot of ways it’s the I way I protect myself; my mind is chaotic so by putting things in place to follow, like routines and habits, I feel like I’m helping myself. It’s easier when I know what to expect, although, honestly, sometimes I cope with things that catch me by surprise too, because I have less time to overthink and panic, I just have to deal with it.
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The problem with routines is that they can become a coping mechanism, and although it’s okay to live like that for a time, trust me, there will come a day when you have to operate outside of your comfort zone, and that can be terrifying.
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I try to push myself a little bit, but also be aware of how I’m feeling so I don’t overdo things. I’m also conscious of thinking about myself, and not trying to compare or keep up with others. We’re all different, and when we realise that and stop trying to achieve the same things, life can be a little easier. I might find the world more overwhelming at times than some people do, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
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Change is one of my biggest challenges, so that’s what I’m working, little by little. What do you find challenging?

Change

sober blog, Change, rock, padstow, cornwall, estuary, swimming, kayaking, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I'm not great with change. l never have been. It’s not that l don't want to change or do something new, more that the thought of it scares me. I suppose in a lot of ways it’s the I way I protect myself; my mind is chaotic so by putting things in place to follow, like routines and habits, I feel like I’m helping myself. It’s easier when I know what to expect, although, honestly, sometimes I cope with things that catch me by surprise too, because I have less time to overthink and panic, I just have to deal with it.
.
The problem with routines is that they can become a coping mechanism, and although it’s okay to live like that for a time, trust me, there will come a day when you have to operate outside of your comfort zone, and that can be terrifying.
.
I try to push myself a little bit, but also be aware of how I’m feeling so I don’t overdo things. I’m also conscious of thinking about myself, and not trying to compare or keep up with others. We’re all different, and when we realise that and stop trying to achieve the same things, life can be a little easier. I might find the world more overwhelming at times than some people do, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
.
Change is one of my biggest challenges, so that’s what I’m working, little by little. What do you find challenging?

Monday Morning

sober blog, Monday Morning, in cornwall after the school run, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Monday morning started in a particularly stressful way… kids up late, no fuel in the car, roads really busy and then after school drop off, the road to work was shut. But… whereas once I would have stressed out and lost the plot about all these things that are out of my control, I didn’t. I took a deep breath and got on with it. I’m just about to pick my youngest up now, and I don’t feel stressed or anxious (although I might after the drive home) and I’m not going to go home and drown my feelings with wine, because now, I deal with things head on, rather than hiding. It’s a better place to be and I’m a happier person. I hope you’ve all had a good day?

Monday Morning

sober blog, Monday Morning, in cornwall after the school run, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Monday morning started in a particularly stressful way… kids up late, no fuel in the car, roads really busy and then after school drop off, the road to work was shut. But… whereas once I would have stressed out and lost the plot about all these things that are out of my control, I didn’t. I took a deep breath and got on with it. I’m just about to pick my youngest up now, and I don’t feel stressed or anxious (although I might after the drive home) and I’m not going to go home and drown my feelings with wine, because now, I deal with things head on, rather than hiding. It’s a better place to be and I’m a happier person. I hope you’ve all had a good day?

Flowers

sober blog, Flowers by Donna Cornish, Launceston, Cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret DiaryFlowers 1
When you need a beautiful bouquet and you need it quickly… thank you Flowers By Donna Cornish

Flowers

sober blog, Flowers by Donna Cornish, Launceston, Cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret DiaryFlowers 1
When you need a beautiful bouquet and you need it quickly… thank you Flowers By Donna Cornish

Breaking the Cycle



sober blog, Breaking the Cycle, Cornwall, kayaking, family, fun, weekend,  Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Those of you that have been reading my blog for some time might have cottoned on to the fact I’m a little bit obsessive. I’m not excusing my behaviour, I’m just well aware that it’s a part of my character. A kind way of describing it would be to say I’m a creature of habit, but it’s also true to say that’s probably an understatement.
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Getting over my alcohol addiction was hard for me for two reasons, one was obviously the actual addiction, while the second was the habit I had formed, the ritual of filling up my wine glass, and I soon found I had to find something to replace that. Eventually I found non-alcoholic wines, and for a time they really helped, but after a while I began to obsess about that too. It’s frustrating for me to feel obsessive about things, because logically I know that I’m being unreasonable, but that annoying part of my mind clutches on to something and won’t let go. I’d find myself stressing out if I didn’t have any in the fridge or if I might not have been able to get it, like on a Sunday when the shops closed earlier. I didn’t like the way it made me feel reliant, because to be honest, it was too similar to the need I’d felt for ‘real’ wine. In the end, I slowly transitioned to diet coke, but again, the need for it crept up, and again I got twitchy if there wasn’t enough. Nothing seemed to hit the spot like it, and I didn’t know how I’d ever break the habit. In the end, my husband spontaneously bought a Soda Stream, mainly to cut the cost of the coke we were buying, but also due to the fact there’s less waste. I didn’t have any idea that it would break the habit for me, but it did. It might seem like a small thing, but I find now that I might drink one fizzy drink in the evening and that’s it. It’s not as easy as going to the fridge for a refill and yet it’s still there when I want it. With wine or coke, once I’d started, it was hard to stop, so it’s a relief that I don’t feel that I need it in the same way. I’ve even started drinking tea more in the evenings, which was something I seldom did, despite loving tea.

I guess it’s all about remaining open minded, different things will work for different people. Some will be triggered where others aren’t, but trying new things doesn’t have to be scary, and finding something that doesn’t work doesn’t mean that will be the end of it all. Experimenting with different drinks is fun, and can be enjoyable, especially when it comes without a hangover!

Keep trying new things, and have fun with it!
Claire x

Breaking the Cycle



sober blog, Breaking the Cycle, Cornwall, kayaking, family, fun, weekend,  Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Those of you that have been reading my blog for some time might have cottoned on to the fact I’m a little bit obsessive. I’m not excusing my behaviour, I’m just well aware that it’s a part of my character. A kind way of describing it would be to say I’m a creature of habit, but it’s also true to say that’s probably an understatement.
.
Getting over my alcohol addiction was hard for me for two reasons, one was obviously the actual addiction, while the second was the habit I had formed, the ritual of filling up my wine glass, and I soon found I had to find something to replace that. Eventually I found non-alcoholic wines, and for a time they really helped, but after a while I began to obsess about that too. It’s frustrating for me to feel obsessive about things, because logically I know that I’m being unreasonable, but that annoying part of my mind clutches on to something and won’t let go. I’d find myself stressing out if I didn’t have any in the fridge or if I might not have been able to get it, like on a Sunday when the shops closed earlier. I didn’t like the way it made me feel reliant, because to be honest, it was too similar to the need I’d felt for ‘real’ wine. In the end, I slowly transitioned to diet coke, but again, the need for it crept up, and again I got twitchy if there wasn’t enough. Nothing seemed to hit the spot like it, and I didn’t know how I’d ever break the habit. In the end, my husband spontaneously bought a Soda Stream, mainly to cut the cost of the coke we were buying, but also due to the fact there’s less waste. I didn’t have any idea that it would break the habit for me, but it did. It might seem like a small thing, but I find now that I might drink one fizzy drink in the evening and that’s it. It’s not as easy as going to the fridge for a refill and yet it’s still there when I want it. With wine or coke, once I’d started, it was hard to stop, so it’s a relief that I don’t feel that I need it in the same way. I’ve even started drinking tea more in the evenings, which was something I seldom did, despite loving tea.

I guess it’s all about remaining open minded, different things will work for different people. Some will be triggered where others aren’t, but trying new things doesn’t have to be scary, and finding something that doesn’t work doesn’t mean that will be the end of it all. Experimenting with different drinks is fun, and can be enjoyable, especially when it comes without a hangover!

Keep trying new things, and have fun with it!
Claire x

Sharing

sober blog, Stories Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I'm working on a new project and I'd love to hear your story. Imagine what a difference you could make to someone, because what we all need sometimes is someone to relate to. While we're on the same journey, our paths are all so different. If you think you could share your story, give me a shout, I'd love to chat about it.

Sharing

sober blog, Stories Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I'm working on a new project and I'd love to hear your story. Imagine what a difference you could make to someone, because what we all need sometimes is someone to relate to. While we're on the same journey, our paths are all so different. If you think you could share your story, give me a shout, I'd love to chat about it.

Fri-Yay

sober blog,  Fri-Yay, sober diary, claire hatwell, author, cornwall, writer, blogger, my not so secret recovery
Morning all! It’s Friday, or as me and my five year old refer to it, Fri-Yay!! Who knew Fridays would still have the yay, even without alcohol, but they do!!
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Anyway, I think this t-shirt says it all… be brave, be kind, be sober!
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Have a great day everyone!

Fri-Yay

sober blog,  Fri-Yay, sober diary, claire hatwell, author, cornwall, writer, blogger, my not so secret recovery
Morning all! It’s Friday, or as me and my five year old refer to it, Fri-Yay!! Who knew Fridays would still have the yay, even without alcohol, but they do!!
.
Anyway, I think this t-shirt says it all… be brave, be kind, be sober!
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Have a great day everyone!

Hot Day Drinks

Hot day… school run… these iced drinks are becoming a habit.
sober blog, hot day drinks, mcdonalds, mother and daughter, fiat 500, cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diaryhot day drinks 1

Hot Day Drinks

Hot day… school run… these iced drinks are becoming a habit.
sober blog, hot day drinks, mcdonalds, mother and daughter, fiat 500, cornwall, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diaryhot day drinks 1

Flashbacks

sober blog, flashbacks, blackout, sober diary, blog, claire hatwell, my not so secret recovery
Even now, I still do this.
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At least I’m not adding to the bank of memories anymore!
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#Repost from @notsosecretlysober

They're just the worst.

Flashbacks

sober blog, flashbacks, blackout, sober diary, blog, claire hatwell, my not so secret recovery
Even now, I still do this.
.
At least I’m not adding to the bank of memories anymore!
.
#Repost from @notsosecretlysober

They're just the worst.

Welcome to my diary, for past months please use the navigation bar to the left.

Welcome to my diary, for past months please use the navigation bar to the left.