My Not So Secret Diary

Reaching Out

Reaching Out Years ago, before I finally decided I had a real problem with alcohol, I remember watching daytime TV one day. I think it was a chat show of some sort, but Denise Welch came on. At the time, I had no idea that she had a drinking problem, to be honest, I had no real idea about her, other than the fact that she’d been on the TV, but as I listened, I felt a real connection. What she said hit a real nerve with me, and I identified on so many levels. It was a time not so long ago, when people didn’t really talk about addiction. It wasn’t the done thing to acknowledge that it happened to ‘normal’ people, something which stopped me from getting help for a really long time. Anyway, I was touched by her bravery in speaking so openly about her addiction and her recovery. I remember sitting in tears as I watched, realising that I wasn’t the only one, because sometimes, it really felt like it. Now, I’m not one for fan-girling, but sometimes, I think it’s important to show people that you are grateful for something they’ve said or done. I spent ages writing a message, and sent her a DM. I wanted her to know how much her words meant, and how much hope it gave me. The thing is, I didn’t really expect a reply, I know how busy these people are, but I wanted to say thank you, because it meant such a lot to know I wasn’t alone. It gave me hope that there was a way through it all. Days went by, and then weeks, and I occasionally checked back, only to see that she’d never even read the message. Instead of the positivity I’d felt, all I felt was disappointment and isolation. In the end, I hit unsend on the message.Now, like I said, I know what it’s like to be busy, to not know which way to turn, but I also feel that if you open yourself up to the public, you should expect interaction, and when you don’t give it, you’re letting people down. In our case, vulnerable people, who don’t know where to find help and are often just looking for reassurance or a positive connection. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I do know how it feels to reach out and be ignored. I don’t do that, I read, and reply where I can to every comment, review or message because they mean a lot to me. Unless of course it’s one of those offers of money if I send my bank details! It’s so hard to reach out. It’s so hard to admit you have a problem (any problem) but connecting with like minded people helps. Connection is the opposite of addiction, so keep on reaching out.Much love,Claire