Last Friday morning, I dropped my littlest at school and was driving home along the country lanes when a car shot through a stop sign at a crossroads and ploughed straight through the car in front of me. While it was undoubtedly a shock, that wasn’t the biggest thing I noticed and as I drove to work this week, along the same lanes, I realised what was different; it was me, the way I dealt with it, and how I felt afterwards. I felt like I watched the accident happen in slow motion and afterwards, I jumped out of my car to check on the occupants of the other cars. It only hit me afterwards that I was completely present and logical, clear headed because I hadn't had a drink the night before. If something similar had happened a few years ago when I’d still been drinking, it wouldn’t have been the same, and I may not have reacted in the same way. I was glad I could put myself in a place where I could help.

This is so true! When I take my five year old to the park after school, I watch him and his friends play and have fun regardless of what they’ve had to drink. Why does that change as we get older? Why do we let ourselves use substances to feel like we’re fitting in or relaxing? Sadly, rather than really feeling better, it just numbs us and we end up missing out on good experiences. •I want to be that kid again. Who’s with me? ••Photo Credit @faithfullysober

The picture doesn’t do it justice, but this is my favourite ice drink of the summer so far… raspberry ripple iced cooler. Yum I’m enjoyed trying them all! Any recommendations for me?

Repost from @sobergirlbookclub•If you enjoyed ‘My Not So Secret Recovery’, by Claire Hatwell, she has also released a guide to recovery! Check it out if you are looking for some more support on your sober journey

Um anyone else feel like this was written about them, because I do….Repost from @sober.as.a.mother

My piece in @launcestonlifemag this month You can read it online here - https://issuu.com/launcestonlife/docs/ll16/66

Thought for the evening. It’s so true!!Even though it was truthfully one of the hardest things I’ve done, I don’t regret working for my sobriety at all. Even when it’s hard, stay strong - it’s so worth it!

All ready to join the chat at @sobergirlbookclub tonight! Can’t wait to meet you all!

Okay so this one wasn’t even mine. I stole it from my daughter… but it was worth it! Strawberries and cream is not something I’d usually pick in a drink, but they’ve nailed it!

Saturday morning walk and bike ride Hid under the trees to avoid the rain Found a steam train, much to Stanley’s delight The simple things mean so much to me!

Wow! I saw this post and it made me remember… There is not one bit of me that enjoyed the way I felt when I realised I’d posted something or texted something that I thought was so funny at the time! Of course, then the next morning there would always be the fear as I rapidly tried to delete the evidence. Even now, I see posts in my memories that I have to delete because I hate to remember… but I can’t change it, and beating myself up won’t make it any better. Going forward things are definitely better.

Last night… Just a perfect evening! .All the worries seep away with the water, which is still actually quite cold, but warm enough to have lost our gloves and socks. Peace, quiet and stillness. Perfection!

Trying fabulous new cold drinks on hot days could definitely become a thing for me, but you know, why the hell not?

I love talking to book clubs, and I love seeing my book pop up in different places as people read it! Really looking forward to Sunday @sobergirlbookclub .Repost from @sobergirlbookclub•Beach lounging with June’s book! Who is ready for book club this Sunday?!

Did I need it? Probably not. Did I want it? Yes because there is always room in my life for another book, especially one about wild swimming! Nowadays, I really like being able to treat myself with things that actually matter and that I enjoy! It’s far better than wasting money on wine! .But I shouldn’t be allowed near book shops!!

Yum! I had myself a mango and passionfruit cooler as a little treat today. Great refreshing taste, alcohol free, no headaches, no regrets… definitely feel like I’m winning!

Author Spotlight .Claire Hatwell ( @soberme_claire ) , author of this months book ‘My Not So Secret Recovery’, tells us a little about herself: I always felt like I was the fun one, until one day I wasn’t anymore. Drinking had become such an important part of my life that I struggled to see the point without it, but I always kidded myself I was all right because I didn’t fit the stereotype of an alcoholic. I had a good job, my kids were happy, but every night, I washed all my anxiety away with three bottles of wine. No one can keep going like that forever, although I tried. Things threatened to come crashing down around me, and I realised I needed to change.

Repost from @sobergirlbookclub

The view of ‘my’ field today… beautiful, but a touch warm, and I thought I’d got out early enough to avoid the worst of the heat! Tomorrow I think I’ll skip the run and go for a refreshing dip somewhere instead!

Looking forward to chatting with @sobergirlbookclub this week about my book My Not So Secret Recovery!

Doing things today that I would normally avoid, seeing people, going places, having conversations… but I’m getting it done, and feeling good about it. It sounds so simple, but my life has improved so much since I binned off the wine!

Managed to squeeze in my run today after it cooled down, but before the rain came! Still hot, still a red face, but as always, I felt much better when I got back in than I did before!

This is so true. Remember, just because someone is posting all the good stuff, doesn’t mean it’s all real, or that it’s the only way things look for them. We all have good days and bad days, people don’t often post as much about their bad days, and your journey is unlikely to look exactly the same as someone else’s. Just do what you need and take each day as it comes. Soon the days will be weeks and the weeks will be months. All that matters is you keep moving in the right direction! .As always, remember to be kind to yourselves!

Last night… Just a perfect evening! All the worries seep away with the water, which is still actually quite cold, but warm enough to have lost our gloves and socks. Peace, quiet and stillness. Perfection!

How I coped with stress in the past, versus how I cope nowadays… The picture in the middle is from 2009, although it’s not special, I have so many just like that one, they all feature wine..I set off on a run to clear my frazzled mind the other day and it got me thinking about how I cope now, and I realised I definitely get more out of life nowadays! In many of my old photos, I always had a glass of wine and although I often had a smile on my face, it was frequently covering up how I felt inside. At the time, I thought wine helped wash those worries away. It didn’t, it just made them worse. Now, I’m still emotional at times; yes I get anxious, yes, I over worry, but I don’t try to push those parts of myself away, instead, I’ve found things that work for me. So yes, the person in the middle picture is me, but I prefer the person I am now, the one who deals with things rather than burying my head in the sand. Running, wild swimming and generally being outdoors give me a natural high and make me feel so much better than drinking ever did!

My face nearly matches my top!! It was rather warm on my run today!!

A few years ago, a sunny evening would have been another excuse to drink. Now it’s a reason to get outside! Tonight we’re off to the beach for a play on the sand and a swim in the sea!

Well this alcohol free mojito was a yummy surprise! I wasn’t looking for it, but noticed it as I was shopping in Aldi this morning. Will definitely be trying some more in the range!

Sunday run day!

So good to see a local company embracing the alcohol free options! This photo makes me so happy!! .

I find exercise hard. I guess most people do, but at the end of a long day, the last thing I want to do is go out for a run. Things have been hectic lately, (I’m fine, so please don’t worry), it’s just I notice it in my mind, and as I’ve said before, I get a bit scatty. So yesterday, after a bit of a cry mid shop (as you do) I went out for a run. I was heavily encouraged by my lovely husband who seems to appreciate the effect running has on me far more than I do. I used to run every day, and back before lockdown I was running half-marathons fairly easily, and I loved it, but getting out of the habit makes it harder to restart, because comparison is a pain, and you know, I used to be faster…

My least favourite place of the week… swimming lessons. I come every week because my 5 year old deserves to learn to swim and is doing well, but it’s literally my idea of hell. Cliqueyness… noise… a ball that keeps flying over my head because apparently some people feel that’s okay… I choose to sit by myself as far away from the other parents as I can… yes I’m a little bit antisocial, but I find peopling hard. The good viewing spots are always gone by the time we arrive after school, by mums who aren’t even watching their kids and my airpods can’t even drown out the noise!!

This is from over two years ago, but I never shared it… Repost from @fierce_calm

I agree 100% Repost from @jenleehirst•

Well this was rather yummy! So if someone offers you ‘cuddles on the beach’ say yes!! I love being offered a variety of non-alcoholic drinks, because sober really does not mean boring! In fact I had such a lovely day at the weekend, and it wasn’t affected in any way by me wanting or needing a drink. In fact, afterwards I sat with my cup of tea, remembering what a great day we all had, and I wouldn’t change anything!

If you had asked me a few years ago, I never would have agreed with this, but it’s so true!

I like this. It’s very true and it’s decision I’d happily make every day now! .Repost from @sobrietysisterhood•Like and share this if you agree. It doesn’t matter if you’re at day 1 or day 1001, it is a daily (sometimes hourly) choice to keep on your sober journey. The cravings are less. You learn how to avoid or deal with triggers. You realize how awesome you can be without alcohol messing you up..

Monday morning school run… I have had the best weekend and all it involved was me and my family. A bank holiday weekend a few years ago would have been an excuse to drink more wine. It would have been perfectly acceptable to do so… but, in the back of my mind would have been the worry, where was the next drink coming from, was I acting okay? My glass always seemed to be empty in those last few years before I stopped. Waking up this morning, yes, I am tired, but I remember everything, not just the bits where I embarrassed myself. We had fun and I didn’t make a fool of myself. I’m not struggling to remember what I said or did, because I know. Most of all, I feel happy and wait for it… relaxed. That isn’t a feeling that comes easy to me, so things have definitely changed. There’s no way I’d change them back now! .I hope you all had a great weekend too?

Miley hasn’t decided which one to read first!

Days like today make me very happy!.It’s so simple, spending time with my family, but it means the world being able to have time together. Especially as they all get older, they have less time for us, and that’s the way it should be, but knowing today they all chose to be with us was lovely!

How true is this? How does it apply to you? I’ve always had a mask that I’ve shown to the world, first when I was anxious, then when I was drinking and then to cover up all the things I felt were my shortcomings. The thing is, my mask didn’t help, it just made other people think I was coping when I was a but of a wreck inside. Now, I’m much more upfront about how I feel and how things are for me. It’s not a weakness to not feel 100% all the time, and more people than you’d expect would understand. Trust me on that!

Years ago, before I finally decided I had a real problem with alcohol, I remember watching daytime TV one day. I think it was a chat show of some sort, but Denise Welch came on. At the time, I had no idea that she had a drinking problem, to be honest, I had no real idea about her, other than the fact that she’d been on the TV, but as I listened, I felt a real connection. What she said hit a real nerve with me, and I identified on so many levels. It was a time not so long ago, when people didn’t really talk about addiction. It wasn’t the done thing to acknowledge that it happened to ‘normal’ people, something which stopped me from getting help for a really long time. Anyway, I was touched by her bravery in speaking so openly about her addiction and her recovery. I remember sitting in tears as I watched, realising that I wasn’t the only one, because sometimes, it really felt like it. Now, I’m not one for fan-girling, but sometimes, I think it’s important to show people that you are grateful for something they’ve said or done. I spent ages writing a message, and sent her a DM. I wanted her to know how much her words meant, and how much hope it gave me. The thing is, I didn’t really expect a reply, I know how busy these people are, but I wanted to say thank you, because it meant such a lot to know I wasn’t alone. It gave me hope that there was a way through it all. Days went by, and then weeks, and I occasionally checked back, only to see that she’d never even read the message. Instead of the positivity I’d felt, all I felt was disappointment and isolation. In the end, I hit unsend on the message.Now, like I said, I know what it’s like to be busy, to not know which way to turn, but I also feel that if you open yourself up to the public, you should expect interaction, and when you don’t give it, you’re letting people down. In our case, vulnerable people, who don’t know where to find help and are often just looking for reassurance or a positive connection. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I do know how it feels to reach out and be ignored. I don’t do that, I read, and reply where I can to every comment, review or message because they mean a lot to me. Unless of course it’s one of those offers of money if I send my bank details! It’s so hard to reach out. It’s so hard to admit you have a problem (any problem) but connecting with like minded people helps. Connection is the opposite of addiction, so keep on reaching out.Much love,Claire

I used to think I was relaxing when I poured myself a few glasses of wine… It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I realised what damage I had done to mental health. Trust me, if you are prone to anxiety, alcohol does you no favours, it just delays what you are feeling and you dealing with it, so when you do, it will feel like a mountain, rather than a hill.

A beautiful day out on the water today! The sea is one of my favourite places and being able to enjoy a couple of hours with my husband and two of our boys was lovely! Better than a day in the office any day!

Beautiful day today! We’re planning to take the kayak out if we can catch the tide right! What are you all up to?