Real life proof that you can have fun, remain sober, and enjoy yourself at parties, even when other people are drinking. Once upon a time I wouldn’t have thought it was possible. Not only is it possible, it’s great. I didn’t just have a good time, I also won’t have a hangover or forget anything that happened today. I’m tired, because socialising is hard work for me, but so glad I went!
The best evenings look like this… straight to the beach after school and work. Swimming in the sea, building sandcastles, making memories. 💖 Once upon a time, I needed to drink in the evenings, especially on a Friday night, but tonight, that would have ruined it all! 💖 Sober evenings at the beach are the best!
Today I am feeling grateful. Earlier our elderly neighbour bought us the most beautiful plant as a late house warming present. It was such a kind thought, and something she didn’t need to do. Then on top of that, last night there was a fire very close to our business. We could see the flames across town from our house, and the noise of tyres popping from the heat was actually what woke us up. Maybe describing a fire is a strange thing to be grateful for, but actually, I’m grateful for the fact that no one was hurt, that our community all jumped onto social media to contact other people, making sure that no one was left to find a nasty surprise this morning, and of course, I’m grateful that our business was okay. It was only half way through the day that I realised another thing to be grateful for… the fact that last night I didn’t drink, and when I needed to be, although tired (it was the middle of the night) I could be present and able to think clearly. This had the knock on effect of meaning that when I woke up, I wasn’t panicking about what I had or hadn’t done. Being sober gives me peace of mind, and of course, that is something I will always be grateful for.
And today, lunch looked like this 💖 • A few years ago a lunch break from work would have involved a trip to the pub if there was any way I could wangle it… and then I would have been desperate to get home to continue where I’d left off. How times change!
I’ve tried before to articulate how when I started my sober journey, my feelings came back to life. It’s common to use alcohol to numb unwanted, unnecessary and unneeded emotions but it’s not meant to be that way. I was reading a book recently that really brought it home to me. We are alive and so we are meant to feel. If we didn’t, we’re not living our lives to the fullest. It’s not always going to be easy. Sometimes it’s going to be hard, but it’s all meant to be. No one said life was meant to be easy, but then the really good things seldom are and I for one want to enjoy it!
If you have kids you may have seen the ‘secret club’ episode of Peppa Pig… Or maybe you remember being in a secret club when you were a kid. I do. I also remember that I wanted to tell everyone I was in it so they’d know I was accepted. Although it was secret there was an element of trying to work out who else was in it, who was ‘like’ you, or your friend, and I guess we could tell. We had things in common. I feel like that a bit now with my not so secret club of sobriety. I’m proud to be a part of it, and yet, I often feel like I can guess who else is in it, even when they don’t announce it. Someone in the public eye opened up recently about their addiction, and it confirmed something I’d already assumed. At other times I’ve been approached by people I know who seem to have guessed about me without me saying. If you’d asked me years ago I would have said I didn’t want to be part of this club, but I was wrong; it’s a club I’m proud to be part of. It’s given me back my life, and I’m proud to be able to share exclusive membership with so many of you!
My favourite time of the evening… story time with my youngest. We’ve consumed a fair few books together, it’s quiet and peaceful and just lovely. A few years ago I would have rushed this time to get downstairs to finish my wine, or I would have had a glass upstairs with me. It makes me sad to think of all the times I rushed away, and while that won’t change it, it does remind me to enjoy this precious time while he’s so little and to take nothing for granted.
I was talking to my son last night, he’s 17 and has just left college. He’s just got a new job but he’s also just passed his driving test so his funds are limited… anyway, he was telling me how difficult it is to buy presents for me and his dad, as it’s fathers day here tomorrow. I told him we don’t need big gifts, but his point was that it would be easier to buy for us if we still drank because the supermarkets make it so easy to buy alcohol as presents. The aisles for Mother’s day especially always annoyed me, but until this conversation, I hadn’t really appreciated that society is brainwashing our kids into thinking special occasions equals alcohol, and that makes me sad and quite angry. I don’t know how we begin to change the way alcohol is sold and advertised, but I for one am glad I have the ability to tell my kids that drinking isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. They need balance and there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of that in supermarkets during celebrations. My sobriety was too hard to earn to through it away. Alcohol wouldn’t make my life any better and I’m not missing out on anything by not drinking. One day I hope the rest of the world cottons on to that too! 💖
