Quarantine (of sorts)
Outdoor yoga is so good!
Yesterday was my first ‘proper’ day of quarantine. It’s been a bit weird to be honest. It feels like a holiday because I’ve got all the kids at home and yet, there’s this uneasy feeling of what is going to happen at work. I know we aren’t the only ones in this situation, it’s just a worry when you have a business you’ve worked hard for and then things are taken out of your control.
On the other side of it, with everything being cancelled, I suddenly have a lot less demands on me and my time. There’s no work, no school, no nursery, no running track twice a week, no dentist, no orthodontist and no hairdresser, and that’s just the cancellations for this week and next week! In some ways, it is a relief. Not that I’m complaining, it’s just I always have so many things on, and now I don’t.
My anxiety means that I often worry until I’ve ticked off the things on my list each day. It’s an imaginary list of things like emptying the dishwasher, hoovering the whole house and sorting the washing. I feel like these things have to be done and until they are I can’t go to work, and I can’t quite relax. Logically I know it’s daft, but that doesn’t change the way I feel. It is quite annoying but I’ve come to accept it’s part of me, and nowadays it’s just easier to do the things I know will make me feel better. Call it a coping strategy if you like, but it works for me. (Most of the time.)
Anyway obviously yesterday was the first day of a different way of living for a while. It was strange, because I really feel like a pressure has been lifted. We didn’t need to set an alarm for one thing. Of course that meant little man was awake in the night, which he never normally is, and we were both wide awake way before the alarm would have gone off. I woke the kids up, asking Katie if she needed to sign into her virtual lessons to be reminded it was Wednesday, a day she doesn’t normally have lessons. I actually managed to ask her that three times, clearly, I’m having trouble keeping track of the days of the week already! Lee and Joe had a few things to check at work to put their minds at rest, so Katie watched Stanley for me while Barn and I went for a run. It was sunny and warm and beautiful out there. Having the lock down in place really made me appreciate the time we had outside. It’s funny what you take for granted when you have it all the time isn’t it?
While we were running we didn’t see many people at all, but the few we did we gave plenty of space to, as they did to us. A few smiles from a distance were all the contact we had, but it was nice to think people were respecting the rules. On our way back we ran through a nature reserve close to our home and Barn suggested stopping for a bit of yoga. It was so quiet that it seemed silly not to, and we had half an hour of stretching before we ran home. It was lovely.
Deciding to make the most of the sunshine that we get so rarely, we decided to go out into the garden, just having a little tidy up, and then ate lunch out there. It was like a summer day! Maybe not quite so warm, but good enough. Stanley loved it, just pottering around with us.
It’s odd, but I feel better than I have done in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I still had to do all my little jobs, my mind would have been preoccupied while I was running otherwise. But who knew lockdown would give me the freedom to slow down and take a break? It’s not what I expected, and who knows if this feeling will last, but for now I’m going to enjoy it! I love my family, but sometimes life gets in the way. It’s quite nice being forced into spending more time with them all, just being together.
How are you all finding things at the moment?
Take care.
Claire x
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