Right Now

27 May. 2020 • Category: Addiction | Lockdown | Mental Health | Recovery | Anxiety

I came home from work this afternoon to find Katie walking down our road with Stanley. She was taking him to a nearby field to stretch his legs for a few minutes. I stopped to check they were okay, as she had been looking after him for me for the morning and she offered to see if I wanted to join them. Normally I would say yes. Even when I don’t want to, sometimes I feel like I should. I’ve been trying to stop doing things out of habit though and the lure of an empty house called. I told Katie that and she was fine, but of course she was, if she hadn’t seen me, she would have been on her own with him anyway. They carried on and I went home.

I left the jobs that always feel so important. I didn’t empty the dishwasher or load the washing machine. I didn’t even unpack my bag.

Instead, I put the kettle on, picked up my notebook and my Kindle and sat down in the sunshine.

Right now, the paving is warm under my feet. The only sound is the birds and someone cutting their grass in the distance. The sun is warm on my face, and the dog is asleep by my feet. The street is quiet and no-one is passing by. It’s very peaceful.

So… I’m going to enjoy it.

Just for a little while, until they come home.

Peace. Just for a moment right now, while I drink my tea.

The funny thing is, the minute I stopped writing, I realised I was listening out for them. I might like the peace, but I do miss them when they aren’t here.

Claire x

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