Repost from @sobergirlbookclub•Up next: My Not So Secret Recovery, by Claire Hatwell. @soberme_claire. Grab your copy, start reading and we will see you the 26th for book club meeting! Even more exciting, Claire will be joining us to give us the inside scoop on her book!

Village school life and our Jubilee celebrations! .The best thing, besides the children having fun of course, was all the tea! And of course, the sunshine!

True story… I can’t moderate. I tried it several times to be sure but it always ends up messy. With sobriety I know where I am, and what to expect and you know, so does everyone else around me. To be fair I know even now, after five and a half years that one drink would not be enough and so I don’t have any. I’m not missing out, I’m living a better life.

I saw this and it really spoke to me. I think we all need to remember this sometimes!

Sunday morning… Mum’s taxi service. Okay, so there are probably other things I’d rather do than drive a couple of teenagers to the train station to catch a train that they ended up missing (not my fault) but, actually, being able to get up and drive without thinking is one of my favourite things. Who knew how brilliant it would feel to be able to get in the car at any time of the day or night and drive without even considering whether it would be safe to or not? Years ago, I used to plan my life so everything was done, and I could be safely at home, so drinking could commence. Then that was it for the evening, or on a sunny day like today, it would have been earlier, because you know, there’s always a reason to drink earlier if you look for it and sunny Sundays were one of my many reasons. Now, I don’t even have to think about it, and it feels like I’ve been given so much freedom, even though freedom was something I had before and chose not to use. Like I seem to always be saying nowadays, it’s the little things that matter more now and I appreciate them so much. Sobriety doesn’t always come easy, but trust me when I tell you, it’s so worth it x

Sober Saturdays are the best… woke up, no hangover. I remember exactly what I did, said and watched last night. I fell asleep because I was tired, not because I blacked out. We popped out, had a picnic in a field and did some food shopping. There was no rush to get home so I could have a drink. In other words my need for a drink didn’t ruin anything. I’m currently sat in my hammock while my husband and oldest son are on the BBQ. Child two and four are playing on the grass and number three is on his way to join us. It’s simple and lovely and all the things I wanted that wine couldn’t give me. It’s peaceful. I hope you’ve all had a lovely day too? xx

I’ve written about imposter syndrome before, but it touches so many of us that I wanted to address it again. For me, I guess the best way to explain it is that I’ve always been waiting for things to click, so I’d feel like a success. It’s not quite like that though, because however much I achieve, I still feel like I need approval. The first time I ever posted anything for you all to read, I felt sick with nerves. It’s not quite so bad now, but to be fair, the feeling is still there. I question who I am to write, why anyone would care and most of all, I worry about causing offence. I guess I just want to please? But, if I am like that for my blog, imagine what I was like when my books were released! With the first one I convinced myself that after a few reviews, I’d be okay, but even now, I still wait for the fatal blow. It’s like I don’t feel good enough, or worthy enough, which might be fine on some occasions, but is pretty ridiculous when you relate it to me writing my own blog. No one else knows the way I think better than I do, so how can I be wrong? That’s the thing with imposter syndrome; we’re able to look logically and say we’re deserving but that awful little voice is always there to make us question and doubt ourselves.Apparently more women than men suffer from imposter syndrome, which I find strange. I don’t see why our gender would have anything to do with our self-belief? Maybe men do suffer, but don’t want to admit it? I know I never would have done when I was at the height of my difficulties. I was terrified to let anyone see a chink in my armour. Now though, those walls are down. I want to help others and if that means laying my feelings bare, then so be it. I think the biggest thing for me is understanding. I know I tend to doubt myself. I know that I am my own harshest critic. But now, rather than let those feelings run away with me, I try to be aware of them, and where I can, let them go. That isn’t always easy, and I’m working on it, but it’s about being aware, and really, that’s all I can do. Well, that and keeping on doing what I’m doing, because even though I have ups and downs like most people, something seems to be working, and that’s good enough for me. Take care, Claire x

Our stories are so important. They make us who we are, and shape us as people. One thing I’ve learned from my sober journey is that no two people have the same experience, even when they’re on the same path.

I don’t know how many times I was told to moderate… as if I had any control left at that point. Trying not to drink when all I wanted to do was drink was uncomfortable physically and mentally. It took a long time to get over the physical addiction before I could learn to cope mentally without the thing I relied on. It was a hard time, so I do understand if you are going through something similar. Now, on the other side, I wouldn’t change a thing!

I found @katieabey the other day and super love her page. So to keep things simple just listen to The Watering Can

Something new is on it’s way, but for this one, I’m going to be needing some help from you! More information to follow very soon… in the meantime, have you read these?If you have enjoyed either of my books I would be so grateful if you could leave me a review on Amazon as it really helps other readers to find my books.Thank you so much for being here, it means the world to me x

Isn’t it funny how things appear as if by magic in your life. I was just going to write a piece about making sure our own cup is full, as we cannot pour from one that is empty and then up pops this!

Yes!!! We need to do this.

Drinking won’t solve any of your problems. It will just add a hangover to go with your problems. Getting sober starts with removing alcohol but then it’s doing the work and addressing the reason why you drank in the first place. The goal is to become someone who doesn’t even want to drink because you feel so good without it..Photo credit @drop_the_bottle_

A few years ago I really struggled to slow down and find time for myself. I felt like admitting I was tired, or not being constantly busy was a reflection on my character, and not in a good way. My answer was to push myself more, to prove myself, although even now, I’m not sure who I was trying to prove myself to. I think, because the only time I really relaxed was when I had a glass of wine in my hand, that the rest of the time I felt I should be ‘on’ and achieving. It took me a long time to reconcile the fact that I was allowed to be quiet sometimes, that I didn’t always have to achieve everything on my to-do list to be valued.

Found myself a little piece of heaven today!

Sneaky solo lunch out today. I never used to do things like this. I probably wouldn’t have even bought a takeaway drink if I was on my own, let alone sit down by myself and eat… but I do now. How things change! The little things really make all the difference!

I was pretty shocked to see this headline pop up on my news app this week… “A government minister has suggested that people struggling with the cost of living could take on more hours or move to a better-paid job.” I know, it was only the other day that I said I don’t like the news, mainly because it stresses me out, but if I cut myself off entirely I worry that I don’t know what’s going on in the world.

I’ve been writing my blog for over three years, but I realised recently that a lot of you may not know my story, so I thought I’d share with you a bit about who I am, and why I write.

This is honestly a feeling I will never get tired of! It doesn’t matter what the weather is doing, although admittedly, it’s even better when it’s sunny, but getting into the sea, and feeling the power of the waves is one of my favourite things. I’ve been busy this week, so I haven’t had any free time to swim, but I planned this morning, and after dropping off the littlest one at school, I headed straight to the beach. I took my sixteen year old with me, he likes to swim too, and at one point he turned and asked me if I was okay. I was floating on my back at the time, but I answered him honestly, telling him I felt great, and that’s true, the one place I truly relax in is in the water. It’s peaceful and calming, and settles my mind like nothing else does. I know I can’t stay in the sea forever, but making it a regular thing really makes a difference to me.

I’ve been experiencing a lot of emotions of late. Firstly, there’s the constant anxiety that seems to underlie everything I do. Sometimes it’s not so bad, at other times, it’s awful. It’s all the little things; I worry I’m doing things right, that I’m okay, and that I’m doing the best I can. Couple that with the fact that I’m so busy, like many of us are, and it seems that when I finally get two minutes to myself, I either fall asleep or zone out completely. I can’t remember the last time I managed to concentrate on a TV program, or read a book. But… I’m dealing with it, and I don’t want to have a drink. I can safely say that besides the fact I’m knackered and frazzled, I’m okay, and I wouldn’t be if I was drinking wine every night to help me cope.