Starting out in a life less intoxicated can be a fraught with insecurities, doubt, and lots and lots of questions! We've all got questions, and for some, they never go away. Author of three books on the subject of recovery Claire Hatwell joins us inside issue 2 of @lownodrinkermagazine to share some of the answers that worked for her in her journey from multiple nightly bottles of wine to full sobriety.Read her advice on page 10 of the latest issue of Low No Drinker Magazine. And if you don't find the answers you're looking for there, why not reach out to Claire directly? You'll find her here at @soberme_claire

It’s interesting to hear other people talk about their journeys, even now, I have plenty to learn from others. Recently I was listening to a podcast discussing the effect alcohol has on our children. It’s something I’ve always struggled with; I always considered myself a good mum, but I also knew my drinking altered my capacity to do the job to the best of my ability. Looking back I feel a lot of regret, but I also know that however much I beat myself up, I can’t change anything. I heard a lot that I agreed with, for example, that alcohol is put on a pedestal, something we come of age to be allowed, although many of us want to drink beforehand to look grown up and fit in. Alcohol surrounded me as I grew up, available at any social event, and obviously I wanted to be a part of it. No one spoke of sobriety, or if they did, it was because someone was a rockbottom alcoholic, condemned to live a life white-knuckling it through as nothing would ever be the same. .When I began my journey I had no idea what to tell our kids. I suppose back then I wasn’t that proud. I felt being sober was something I had to do, rather than looking at it as disrupting a norm that society has come to rely on. When I look at myself now, I see someone genuine who doesn’t need a substance to have fun or relax, someone who might struggle but deals with it rather than ignoring it. Being honest, that’s the sort of person I want my kids to see, not someone who pops open a bottle at the end of every day, hoping they’ll wake up different to how they passed out. Remembering how difficult my drinking career was reminds me how much I don’t ever want to go back to that way of living, so while it’s not nice to remember, I guess remembering keeps me grounded. When you look at it like that, it’s easy to see all the positives sobriety has given me, and I’m proud to show my kids that challenges can be overcome. While I’d never try to stop them drinking socially, I can show them there is another way, and that makes me feel proud 💖💖💖

I saw a post the other day that irritated me a little bit. Now I know that everyone has their own battles to deal with and people should be able to vent, but sometimes, even though it’s not, it feels personal. I don’t think it was aimed at me, and yet I felt bothered, and not only for myself, but because I’m protective of our sober community. Earlier in the day I’d seen a post saying that many of us were judgemental when it comes to recovery options. I don’t think that’s true at all. I clearly know what has and hasn’t worked for me, but I also accept that we’re all different and that the same thing will not work for everyone. Shortly after that post I saw another one, where someone said they were shutting their account down. That’s fair enough, but the reason surprised me; they said the sober community was growing too big and becoming less authentic, full of attention seekers. They said it was becoming a fashionable habit. Well of course, I can think of a lot worse habits to have than sobriety, but I was also really surprised at how venomous the comment was. Why suggest we’re attention seeking when all we’re doing is voicing our opinions, worries and challenges? Surely this is the community we’ve all been looking for, where we should understand and accept each other more? It makes me sad to think someone who has clearly benefitted from the sober community now says we’re not valid, but I suppose what bothered me the most is that someone out there could suggest I’m not authentic. No one can tell me that I’m not real, you don’t get the filtered version of life with me, you get reality, because that’s what life is. Some bits are great, some bits are more challenging, but that’s what makes it interesting. To be clear, I’m not going anywhere, as I’ve said before I share my story to help others feel less alone, if my story isn’t authentic, then I don’t know what would be. It’s easy to say but sometimes we just need to remember to be kind to each other and ourselves. Everyone has their challenges, who knows what’s going on behind the scenes? 💖💖💖