SoberMe

My Not So Secret Diary

Pushing, but not too hard

Pushing But Not Too Hard
Speedy legs!

When I started running, two of our four kids started running too. Of the others, one was a baby, so I’ll let him off, and our eldest, a mountain biker couldn’t be persuaded to try two legs instead of two wheels. More recently he has passed his driving test, and become more of a car enthusiast, so I think I’ve missed my window there.

My middle two are quite keen though, and enjoy going to parkruns, and doing local races. You’ll have seen them pop up quite often in my photos if you follow me on Instagram. Katie is more than happy with 5k races, and isn’t interested in going further, although I did convince her to run 4.5 miles at The Remembrance Run which was great. It’s lovely to have her out with me, and recently she has been more confident to run on her own, so we’ve managed to sign up to a few races that have a choice of 5k or 10k depending on how many laps you choose to do. It’s fun to go to a race together, even if we aren’t running the whole thing together.

Recently someone stopped my husband at a race to ask if our son was a member of a club. They suggested he had a natural talent and he could do well with training. He isn’t, like me, he wasn’t sure whether an organised club would be too regimented for him, and whether he’d fit in. I looked around to see if there was something close to home for him, but our local clubs don’t cater for children, so it was tricky. I understand the need for children to have suitably supervised sessions, but in our area, there seems to bit a lack of serious clubs, for those that really want to progress.

More recently though Barn was approached by one of his PE teachers, a lovely lady who drives a minibus full of kids to their surf lessons every week after school, come rain or shine. Without that, they might not have got chatting about running outside of the confines of school. What came about was Barn being asked to represent his college at some local cross country races. So one Sunday we stood in the cold and watched the different age groups compete. It was brilliant!

One thing I’ve really noticed with both of my running kids, is the improvement in their self-confidence since they started running. It’s amazing seeing what a difference one activity makes to all areas of their lives. They both also marshal frequently at parkrun and that seems to have made a difference too. However, after Barn finished his race, he was so gloomy. He was disappointed he didn’t come first. I understand that, he often runs with me, often in races with people much older and he is fast. Competing with kids his own age who have been training for years was a surprise to him. And it knocked his confidence a little. His teacher introduced us to a coach, who would welcome him into their club, but Barn took a lot of convincing. He felt we were just being kind to him. However, eventually, especially after seeing the results, he realised we were telling him the truth. He’s joined the club, even though it’s not in his comfort zone. He’s been a few times now, working on his speed, rather than just his distance, as that seems to come naturally to him.

I want to be supportive, I want to tell him how proud we are, like we are of all our kids, but I really don’t want to put him off. The biggest thing for me is that they are happy. If he came last and enjoyed it, it wouldn’t bother me as long as he was happy. So I guess there is a fine line between pushing and encouraging. Getting him to join a club was a struggle, but now he knows what to expect, he is enjoying it. I wonder where his path will take him?


Thanks for reading!


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Running to Recovery

Running To Recovery
Just finished my first half marathon!

This is me on 20th May 2019.

I’d just finished my first half marathon. I cried. While running. I cried so hard that I could barely breathe, but I couldn’t stop to catch my breath because I was afraid people would see. They wouldn’t understand. You see, I wasn’t crying because I was sad, I was crying because I was so happy. I gulped my breath and carried on, because I was running, and that was amazing. I had treated my body badly for so many years and it still let me run over 13 miles. I was so proud, and so pleased with myself. I still have days where it is hard, although I don’t want to drink anymore, sometimes I am still a little envious of people who get to relax with a glass of wine if you know what I mean? One glass was never enough for me though, and that’s my problem.

Eleven months before this photo was taken I’d started Couch to 5k, it was hideous! I really couldn’t run, but I heard it was good for anxiety and complemented Yoga so I gave it a go. There must be a real life ‘Running Bug’ because I think it bit me, I couldn’t stop, and gradually I was able to go further. 5k became 10k, 10 miles and then I booked my first half to train for. I never imagined that I would be the sort of person out in all weathers and enjoying it. I had no idea I would ever run as far as I have.

Completing my first half marathon changed things for me. I realised that it wasn’t only my addiction that defined me, and that I could instead now define myself as a runner. What an experience, and the best bit? If I can do it, I think anyone can. Plymouth was the first of four half marathons this year and I’m already booked for next year. My competitive side wants a better time than I got this year!

Thanks for reading! Happy running everyone!

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Runway Run

Runway Run
A runway full of runners. I'm on the right near the silver van!

Am I the only one who panics before and sometimes during a run? I think it’s getting worse. Or maybe it’s just because I’m going further and am usually a bit faster? I don’t know. All I know is that it used to be hard to get out or to get to the start line. Now, even when I do that I struggle. It honestly seems like my mind is out to get me. I feel like I won’t be able to do it, that I’ll have to stop and I won’t be able to finish whatever distance it is I’m trying to do. Even if it’s something I know I can comfortably do.

A couple of weekends ago I ran The Cornwall Air Ambulance Runway Run with my son. Last year it was the first official race I booked for us to do, although due to bad weather it was postponed and we ran another race first. Anyway, it was our ‘first’ 5K and we raised a lot of money for the Air Ambulance New Helicopter Appeal. I struggled on that race, because it was so flat, there weren’t any hills where I could comfortably slow down for a minute to catch my breath. It was cold too and I felt so slow. It wasn’t until I finished that I realised that I had clocked one of my fastest ever 5k times.

This year they didn’t offer the 5k option and knowing we could both happily run 10k I signed us both up. I didn’t realise it was an 8am start and of course we had to be there before that, so it was still quite dark! But it makes sense that they got the runners clear of the runway before the airport opened for the day. The sun came up and it was a dry day as we waited for the race to start, which was lovely as we had been experiencing pretty much non-stop rain before that. We met some other members of our running club and waited with them, I knew I wouldn’t be as fast as they are, but it was nice to be part of the group.

The race itself was interesting, it went up and down the runway, and in and out alongside some of the hangars. The difficulty with it being so open is that you could see many of the people in front and behind you, so it almost felt like we weren’t moving. There were more inclines than I expected from a runway, but in hindsight it makes sense that they were there for drainage. At one point I saw my son and a friend coming back the other way and we waved, he was just flying along effortlessly as he does. I have no idea how he does it! Meanwhile, I started to think too much and began to really struggle for breath. The more I thought, the more I realised I couldn’t get a breath, which made me panic more. I properly scared myself before managing to get it under control and pull myself back. I managed to keep running, and luckily as it was so busy, I fell into step with some other runners. Concentrating on the sound of our feet really helped.

At one point as we ran beneath the wings of several airplanes, all belonging to Thomas Cook, they seemed to be parked there for storage. It’s sad to think of a company that was around for so long disappearing like it did and it was eerie to be beneath them. Last summer we went to Spain with Thomas Cook, we weren’t one of the many families affected by the company’s closure, but it was sad to think that it may have been one of the last holidays provided by the company.

So, like many people, I struggle with anxiety amongst other things. Running helps but it isn’t a cure, yet. I guess I’ll just keep on keeping on. There isn’t much else I can do! Oh, and would you believe, for that race, I only went and got a 10k PB! Happy

Thanks for reading.

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Remembrance Run

Remembrance-Run
Remembrance Run on the Beach.

I haven’t written in a while. I’m never sure whether what I write is any good, if any one really wants to read it and in fact, I’m not sure really if I should be writing some of the things I have. It’s strange letting you all in to my thoughts and feelings. I don’t have a tendency to let too many people in, but in some ways it feels nice too, like I’m able to let go of things a bit. So after a lot of thinking, I’ve decided to keep writing, I mean, no one has to read it, right?

Yesterday I ran The St Michaels Mount Remembrance Run. For anyone that knows Cornwall, you’ll know that The Mount sits on an island out from Marazion, and the run was four and a half miles along the beach from there and back.
We started at 11:02am, just after the two minute silence and everyone was asked to wear something red. It was a beautiful way to commemorate the day, all of the chatter at the start of the race stopped immediately at the blow of a whistle. The only sound was that of the waves, until the sound of a horn ended the silence and started the race. Dressed in red, it looked like poppies had been scattered across the beach.

It was a beautiful run, harder going than I had imagined, as the sand was difficult to run on, and the tide was coming in. My daughter Katie ran with me and it was so lovely to be able to chat with her, for once not worrying about a time, but just enjoying the lovely sunshine and scenery. I’d warned her we would get wet feet, but at one point there was a river crossing that came up over our knees. The current was so strong it almost whipped my feet away, probably due to the heavy rains we’ve had lately. Luckily we both kept our footing, which was great as I had my phone and car key in my pocket! It was a beautiful morning though, we were so lucky to have a break in the almost continuous wind and rain we’ve had and enjoy the sunshine even if it was still a little cold.

What a lovely way to spend a Sunday morning and a beautiful way to remember.

Thanks for reading!


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