My Not So Secret Diary

Not Missing Out

Not Missing Out with my husband - writing for my sobriety and recovery blog My Not So Secret Diary by Claire Hatwell
I don’t drink, and of that I am proud. It’s taken me a really long time to be able to say that.

It’s been four years since anything alcoholic has touched my lips and I can safely say, I don’t miss it at all. What surprises me is how other people react to my not drinking.

So many people assume I’m missing out, I was even told once, “it’s a shame,” that I can’t have one on special occasions. At the time it upset me, but now I wonder if it’s a way of others justifying drinking to themselves. When someone struggles to stop and others can’t or aren’t ready to, it can highlight the problems they may be concerned about. Alcohol is an ingrained part of our society from an early age, we see the positives of it everywhere from TV to books. It’s seen in many ways as one of the things we need, and yet the negative effects are seldom seen.

I wrote a post recently about the fact that I’ve been thinking more about wine lately. As I said then, I don’t actually feel the need for it, nor do I actually want a drink. It’s nice to be able to verbalise my feelings though because it helps me understand myself more. Connection with others and understanding helps keep us sober. It’s good to be able to express to other people who get how I feel that I do sometimes think about ‘it’ but that doesn’t make me weak or wrong or anything like that. It just means I’ve lived and learned from my mistakes. For me, I like to think, hey things were bad, but if they hadn’t been, I might not have got to where I am now. I might not appreciate what I have now or be so incredibly grateful for it.

It seems funny to be glad for an experience like recovery, but I am, and I have a right to be, I’ve worked hard to get here.

So, no thanks, I won’t have one, whether it’s big or small or just a sip. I’m not missing out, so please don’t feel sorry for me, because nowadays feeling sorry for myself about drinking really is the last thing on my mind!

Take care,
Claire x