My Not So Secret Diary


Sober Evenings, Claire Hatwell author and sober blogger, My Not So Secret Recovery, My Not So Secret Guide to Recovering.
If I’m honest, you could say that I’m not great with change. My husband calls me a creature of habit, but I do like my routines. I like the idea of doing something new, but actually doing it can be another story entirely. I might plan something with the best of intentions, but then, reality sets in and I find it hard to make whatever it is a reality. I’m like this with the most normal of things; like going on an evening out, or doing something a little bit out of the ordinary. Much as I love my safe space, I hate the way I end up feeling, and I only have myself to blame as I create my self imposed boundaries.
At the beginning of the year we talked about moving. For someone who doesn’t like change, this was the ultimate challenge. Suddenly everything was up in the air and unknown as we’ve never moved before. We bought our last house 21 years ago, and spent our time making it our home. It became an integral part of our family, and yet, it seemed for all of us that it was time to move on. At times I wanted to stop, to go back to the safety and normality of what I knew, but something made me push through.
We’ve been in our new home for two weeks now. It’s a project and we’re living out of boxes with three of us sleeping in the dining room while the older kids have the bedrooms, but it’s beautiful and it has so much potential. It’ll be a long time until it’s finished, as it’s been a little forgotten and unloved, but it’s a blank canvas and it feels like home already. I was terrified that we might make the wrong decision, it’s not like you can try before you buy with a house, and I was worried I might regret the move, but so far, it’s all we could have asked for.
I’m glad I trusted that things would work out, this sort of project is not something I would have undertaken a few years back, and I am so grateful to be where I am now. I’m excited, not overwhelmed, and I have to say, I get so much done in the evenings because I’m sober. It’s a win win!!