26 September 2021
I didn’t realise it at the time, but I always had a front when I was drinking. It wasn't until I stopped that the front fell away and I realised how awkward I could feel without wine. It’s funny, but because I didn't drink at all in the day I didn't associate the two things, and yet if I’m honest, I drank so much at night, that in the mornings I was always probably just riding the wave of the night before.
Everyone has a different way that they choose to portray themselves to others. My front looked capable, strong, in control, able to deal with stressful situations and most of all confident and chatty. All of these things were things that didn’t come naturally to me.
Since I’ve been sober I’ve moved away from many of my old circles. I’m not as social as I was. In fairness, a lot of the time, I don’t even miss it as I’m so busy, but at other times I do. It’s a hard balance to get right. It’s difficult when you’re older to meet new people, we aren’t forced into situations like sitting with people we don’t know at school, and this lack of enforcement can make it easier to avoid. We can isolate ourselves without meaning to, and that makes socialising harder. I’ve always felt like I didn’t quite measure up, that I wasn’t really good enough, and I hated feeling that way. It was hard to meet friends or join groups, because I expected that I wouldn’t fit it, so I didn’t really give anyone a chance.
A few weeks ago I heard that another Bee Sober Ambassador was coming on holiday to my neck of the woods, and she messaged me inviting me to meet up. So I did. I’m trying to push myself out of my comfort zone, and although it made me nervous, I went. As I worried, I tried to work out exactly what it was that was worrying me and I realised, I actually had very little to worry about. I didn’t have to explain I was sober, because we both are. I didn’t have to worry about where we were going to go for food or drinks because she was in the same boat as me. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that I was safe and I had very little to actually worry about.
Do you know what? We had a lovely time. It could have stressed me out, parking was hideous, and I couldn’t fit my car in any of the tiny spaces, so I was late, but she understood. We met at the beach, and then we just played in the waves. Talking to someone who I understood and who understood me was fantastic. We might not share the same experiences, but we got each other. Later, after the beach we went for a coffee and the conversation flowed. I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t and neither did she. It was a relief.
So, like when I joined my cold water swimming group, expecting them not to like me, and found that they did, I’m going to keep trying. It’s taken me a long time to discover who I am without the alcohol, but now I know, I’m enjoying getting to know other people too. It won’t always be easy, there will be bumps in the road, but that doesn’t mean I’ll fall. And if I do, I know I have people around me now to catch me.
Take care of yourselves,
I love being asked to contribute to other people's messages as we get the word out about sobriety, recovery and living alcohol free. It's so important to break down the stigma and show people that we are okay, and that this life is great. Addiction can happen to anyone, let's change that xx
Ever thought about going sober for October? If you join our newest Bee Sober CIC challenge you get to do it with amazing group support and me as a coach!! Starts 1st October!! xBee Sober October
Supported Sober October Challenge - Includes The 30 Day Sober Experiment
Why just survive October when you can Thrive in October?
Friendship, community, connection is hugely important in the early days of sobriety which is why these challenges are working so well!
Why: You are more likely to succeed when you are accountable to a group, peer accountability is proven to keep people on track and remain committed, celebrating as a group will make it more likely that you will achieve your goal.
The key to success is the support of your group, every single week, no matter how you are feeling, what cravings and self-doubt you may be experiencing, we will be there to cheer you on.
What you get: ◦ Free access to Bee Sober exclusive membership through the challenge ◦ Welcome introductory lounge with an accredited Bee Sober Coach - where you can share your stories and really get to know each other. ◦ Exclusive Telegram group for the duration of the challenge. ◦ Weekly Zoom check-in with an accredited Bee Sober Coach ◦ Daily check-ins on Facebook ◦ Max 8 places - This keeps the groups intimate ◦ Certificate and limited edition Bee Sober water bottle on completion. ◦ How: You can join for £3.05 a day, (less than a glass of wine) payable upfront £95.00. (Discounted for all official members - details in the private group) ◦ Our promise to you: ◦ We care about everyone and whatever your story we can support you, no matter what. ◦ Please know at Bee Sober we never give up on anyone and if the worst should happen, you will be entitled to a free 20-minute support call with your coach to get you back in the game.
- Free access to Bee Sober exclusive membership through the challenge
- Welcome introductory lounge with an accredited Bee Sober Coach - where you can share your stories and really get to know each other.
- Exclusive Telegram group for the duration of the challenge.
- Weekly Zoom check-in with an accredited Bee Sober Coach
- Daily check-ins on Facebook
- Max 8 places - This keeps the groups intimate
- Certificate and limited edition Bee Sober water bottle on completion.
- How: You can join for £3.05 a day, (less than a glass of wine) payable upfront £95.00. (Discounted for all official members - details in the private group)
- Our promise to you:
- We care about everyone and whatever your story we can support you, no matter what.
- Please know at Bee Sober we never give up on anyone and if the worst should happen, you will be entitled to a free 20-minute support call with your coach to get you back in the game.
Join today: https://www.beesoberofficial.com/.../bee-sober-october/
Becoming a valuable Bee Sober member is not just about what you get, but what you give: When you purchase any of our items you financially support NACOA and allow Bee Sober to continue to support others. It also helps fund our podcast and allows us to continue to support the community.