SoberMe

My Not So Secret Diary

Breaking the Cycle



sober blog, Breaking the Cycle, Cornwall, kayaking, family, fun, weekend,  Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
Those of you that have been reading my blog for some time might have cottoned on to the fact I’m a little bit obsessive. I’m not excusing my behaviour, I’m just well aware that it’s a part of my character. A kind way of describing it would be to say I’m a creature of habit, but it’s also true to say that’s probably an understatement.
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Getting over my alcohol addiction was hard for me for two reasons, one was obviously the actual addiction, while the second was the habit I had formed, the ritual of filling up my wine glass, and I soon found I had to find something to replace that. Eventually I found non-alcoholic wines, and for a time they really helped, but after a while I began to obsess about that too. It’s frustrating for me to feel obsessive about things, because logically I know that I’m being unreasonable, but that annoying part of my mind clutches on to something and won’t let go. I’d find myself stressing out if I didn’t have any in the fridge or if I might not have been able to get it, like on a Sunday when the shops closed earlier. I didn’t like the way it made me feel reliant, because to be honest, it was too similar to the need I’d felt for ‘real’ wine. In the end, I slowly transitioned to diet coke, but again, the need for it crept up, and again I got twitchy if there wasn’t enough. Nothing seemed to hit the spot like it, and I didn’t know how I’d ever break the habit. In the end, my husband spontaneously bought a Soda Stream, mainly to cut the cost of the coke we were buying, but also due to the fact there’s less waste. I didn’t have any idea that it would break the habit for me, but it did. It might seem like a small thing, but I find now that I might drink one fizzy drink in the evening and that’s it. It’s not as easy as going to the fridge for a refill and yet it’s still there when I want it. With wine or coke, once I’d started, it was hard to stop, so it’s a relief that I don’t feel that I need it in the same way. I’ve even started drinking tea more in the evenings, which was something I seldom did, despite loving tea.

I guess it’s all about remaining open minded, different things will work for different people. Some will be triggered where others aren’t, but trying new things doesn’t have to be scary, and finding something that doesn’t work doesn’t mean that will be the end of it all. Experimenting with different drinks is fun, and can be enjoyable, especially when it comes without a hangover!

Keep trying new things, and have fun with it!
Claire x