17 December. 2019
I’ve been writing to you all for a few months now and I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for reading and thank you for listening. As I’ve said before, I’m quite a private person, so the fact I write a blog about personal things is really quite bizarre.
I’ve noticed as I write though, that it seems to really help me process things. I feel like I am finally unpicking my thoughts and feelings and am able to pack away that old part of me to a certain extent, without the sadness and shame I used to hold on to. Don’t get me wrong, I still wish I’d never got to the place I was in, but hating myself now won’t change that. It won’t undo the past, and as I have been told, that past made me who I am now.
It really matters to me that what I write here helps people. I know how isolated I felt when I was in the middle of it; non-drinkers and non-addicts, for all their kindness don’t understand quite how it is, and how can they when you don’t understand yourself? How is it possible to have such a strong hatred for the same substance you want so much?
Anyway, I don’t want to whinge on, I just wanted to say thanks for reading and messaging me. Isolation only feeds addiction and I know connection helps me, it makes me feel happy to think that reading my blog might help others on their way too.
Take care and thanks again.