My Not So Secret Diary


sober blog, Change, rock, padstow, cornwall, estuary, swimming, kayaking, Claire Hatwell, author of My Not So Secret Diary
I'm not great with change. l never have been. It’s not that l don't want to change or do something new, more that the thought of it scares me. I suppose in a lot of ways it’s the I way I protect myself; my mind is chaotic so by putting things in place to follow, like routines and habits, I feel like I’m helping myself. It’s easier when I know what to expect, although, honestly, sometimes I cope with things that catch me by surprise too, because I have less time to overthink and panic, I just have to deal with it.
The problem with routines is that they can become a coping mechanism, and although it’s okay to live like that for a time, trust me, there will come a day when you have to operate outside of your comfort zone, and that can be terrifying.
I try to push myself a little bit, but also be aware of how I’m feeling so I don’t overdo things. I’m also conscious of thinking about myself, and not trying to compare or keep up with others. We’re all different, and when we realise that and stop trying to achieve the same things, life can be a little easier. I might find the world more overwhelming at times than some people do, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Change is one of my biggest challenges, so that’s what I’m working, little by little. What do you find challenging?