SoberMe

My Not So Secret Diary

Thank You

Thank you
Thank you!!
.
I don’t post much about my sober shop on here; I know what I’m like when I think someone is trying to sell something, but this comment meant the world to me. It means what I’m doing makes a difference to someone else, and that makes everything worthwhile. Thank you for all the feedback and reviews, it matters more than you know

Cold Water

Bude Pool
I enjoyed a beautiful swim this afternoon!
.
Wild swimming has become one of my favourite ways to clear my mind. I was feeling properly scatty and all over the place this morning, but there’s truly nothing like it, and it’s much better for me than numbing everything out with wine was!

Reminder

Sobriety
A little reminder for us all. Saturday evenings used to be a time I could guarantee I’d not need an excuse to have a drink. I’ve gained so much freedom in my sobriety, that now I can’t imagine it any other way! We don’t need alcohol to make out lives any better. Have a great evening everyone!

Change

Change
I'm not great with change. l never have been. It’s not that l don't want to change or do something new, more that the thought of it scares me. I suppose in a lot of ways it’s the I way I protect myself; my mind is chaotic so by putting things in place to follow, like routines and habits, I feel like I’m helping myself. It’s easier when I know what to expect, although, honestly, sometimes I cope with things that catch me by surprise too, because I have less time to overthink and panic, I just have to deal with it.
.
The problem with routines is that they can become a coping mechanism, and although it’s okay to live like that for a time, trust me, there will come a day when you have to operate outside of your comfort zone, and that can be terrifying.
.
I try to push myself a little bit, but also be aware of how I’m feeling so I don’t overdo things. I’m also conscious of thinking about myself, and not trying to compare or keep up with others. We’re all different, and when we realise that and stop trying to achieve the same things, life can be a little easier. I might find the world more overwhelming at times than some people do, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
.
Change is one of my biggest challenges, so that’s what I’m working, little by little. What do you find challenging?

Monday Morning

Monday Morning
Monday morning started in a particularly stressful way… kids up late, no fuel in the car, roads really busy and then after school drop off, the road to work was shut. But… whereas once I would have stressed out and lost the plot about all these things that are out of my control, I didn’t. I took a deep breath and got on with it. I’m just about to pick my youngest up now, and I don’t feel stressed or anxious (although I might after the drive home) and I’m not going to go home and drown my feelings with wine, because now, I deal with things head on, rather than hiding. It’s a better place to be and I’m a happier person. I hope you’ve all had a good day?

Flowers

Flowers 2Flowers 1
When you need a beautiful bouquet and you need it quickly… thank you Flowers By Donna Cornish

Breaking the Cycle



Breaking the Cycle
Those of you that have been reading my blog for some time might have cottoned on to the fact I’m a little bit obsessive. I’m not excusing my behaviour, I’m just well aware that it’s a part of my character. A kind way of describing it would be to say I’m a creature of habit, but it’s also true to say that’s probably an understatement.
.
Getting over my alcohol addiction was hard for me for two reasons, one was obviously the actual addiction, while the second was the habit I had formed, the ritual of filling up my wine glass, and I soon found I had to find something to replace that. Eventually I found non-alcoholic wines, and for a time they really helped, but after a while I began to obsess about that too. It’s frustrating for me to feel obsessive about things, because logically I know that I’m being unreasonable, but that annoying part of my mind clutches on to something and won’t let go. I’d find myself stressing out if I didn’t have any in the fridge or if I might not have been able to get it, like on a Sunday when the shops closed earlier. I didn’t like the way it made me feel reliant, because to be honest, it was too similar to the need I’d felt for ‘real’ wine. In the end, I slowly transitioned to diet coke, but again, the need for it crept up, and again I got twitchy if there wasn’t enough. Nothing seemed to hit the spot like it, and I didn’t know how I’d ever break the habit. In the end, my husband spontaneously bought a Soda Stream, mainly to cut the cost of the coke we were buying, but also due to the fact there’s less waste. I didn’t have any idea that it would break the habit for me, but it did. It might seem like a small thing, but I find now that I might drink one fizzy drink in the evening and that’s it. It’s not as easy as going to the fridge for a refill and yet it’s still there when I want it. With wine or coke, once I’d started, it was hard to stop, so it’s a relief that I don’t feel that I need it in the same way. I’ve even started drinking tea more in the evenings, which was something I seldom did, despite loving tea.

I guess it’s all about remaining open minded, different things will work for different people. Some will be triggered where others aren’t, but trying new things doesn’t have to be scary, and finding something that doesn’t work doesn’t mean that will be the end of it all. Experimenting with different drinks is fun, and can be enjoyable, especially when it comes without a hangover!

Keep trying new things, and have fun with it!
Claire x

Sharing

Stories
I'm working on a new project and I'd love to hear your story. Imagine what a difference you could make to someone, because what we all need sometimes is someone to relate to. While we're on the same journey, our paths are all so different. If you think you could share your story, give me a shout, I'd love to chat about it.

Fri-Yay

Fri-Yay
Morning all! It’s Friday, or as me and my five year old refer to it, Fri-Yay!! Who knew Fridays would still have the yay, even without alcohol, but they do!!
.
Anyway, I think this t-shirt says it all… be brave, be kind, be sober!
.
Have a great day everyone!

Flashbacks

Flashbacks
Even now, I still do this.
.
At least I’m not adding to the bank of memories anymore!
.
#Repost from @notsosecretlysober

They're just the worst.

Welcome to my diary, for past months please use the navigation bar to the left.