SoberMe

My Not So Secret Diary

Thinking

ThinkingI don’t get much time to myself. That isn’t a complaint, it’s just the way things are, and I don’t mind, although of course, it is nice sometimes just to get a little bit of quiet.

The thing is… when it’s quiet I start to think, and when I think I start to remember.

The other morning for instance, I was driving home from the school run and it was a rare moment of quiet. I normally go to work from school, but not on a Friday. That’s the one day of the week where I come home to work on everything else I do. School is nearer to work, so I have a half an hour drive back across the moor. It’s beautiful and open and of course as I mentioned, quiet. Which I like, except my mind wanders.

While I know that our experiences shape us and make us the people we are, there are things I don’t want to remember and things I’d prefer not to worry about. Like anyone, I can’t change it. I can move forward, and that’s what I try to do most of the time. It would be so easy to drown out the things I’d rather not think about, but then, it wouldn’t get me anywhere, they’d still be there in the back of my mind. Once I might have thought wine would fix my worries, but I know now that it won’t. Even when it’s hard I face these things head on now, and I honestly think I’m better off for it.

It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves, but I’m trying not to be. I often try to remind myself that I wouldn’t talk to someone else the way I talk to myself, but it can be easier said than done. Just remember if you’re having a hard time, to be kind to yourself, things have a habit of working out for the best in the long run.

I hope you all have a lovely day.

Claire x